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Metal King Slime
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2012 In Review 022 - Ar Puh Guh 
 PostSun Sep 15, 2013 3:33 pm
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arpuhguh0008.png
You rest to restore your MP, and every attack/technique has a cost.
arpuhguh0001.png
This is a pretty cool setup.
arpuhguh0012.png
This is good advice... that pissed me off.
This is a review of AR-PUH-GUH! (version1.3beta).

Pre-Thoughts:
'nother one I got no idea what to expect. The name makes it seem like it's gonna be really god damn stupid. Meowski has been begging for people to review it, which either means its good and he's desperate to draw attention to it or its terrible and he wants to do the same. I'm imagining EPIC! The Humorous RPG only stoned. Hopefully I'm wrong...

Thoughts-During:

55 Megabytes? Jesus christ this IS gonna be EPIC! The Humorous RPG on dope

Yeah, thanks. This title screen is giving me SO much hope after 60 megs.

Character class chooser thing kind of cool. I'm going with a Chemical Drainer to start with.

Custom menus are cool and all, but for the love of God don't add extra steps to things just 'cause. Menu -> Equipment is good enough, no need to get all Menu -> Party -> Gear throwing in extra steps and readin and guessing.

Battles are slow, died to the first boss. Does anyone really like this 2 damage! 4 damage! Turn every 10 seconds shit?

Seriously, thought experiment here. Imagine that it takes you 3 turns to beat an enemy. Imagine that it takes you ten seconds to get a turn. That's just 30 seconds, right? Let's sit here and hold our breath for 30 seconds to see how long that REALLY is.

I thought so, right? Surprisingly long. And you have to do it for EVERY RANDOM BATTLE. Speed that shit up, folks!

And what the fuck do these items do? I thought I had a healing item but it healed MP or something. Fuck this "IT'S A RED APPLE" tell me what the hell it does

Switching to warrior, maybe the slug just sucks

And another thing: Why does EVERY games starting equipment have to punish you. My stats are bad enough as it is right now, I shouldn't be punished with even worse ones for buying chainmail. Speed is a terrible tradeoff for defense because it means fewer chances for you to do damage and more chances for others to do damage to you. 4 Points of "Phys Def" isn't worth losing a second or two between every one of my turns, especially when I know it's going to take a lot of turns to win any battles when I'm doing 3 damage.

If I didn't feel like I owed this game a decent review, I would be quitting right here.

Past the first boss, but no idea what the hell I'm supposed to be doing.

Post-Thoughts:

Call me an asshole for quitting this one early if you want, but I just can't get into it. I appreciate the effort that must've gone into giving me 9 or so heroes to choose from, but none of them have any personality, I have no connection to them. I have no idea what the hell the story is, or why the hell there were monsters between me and the boys in the office and the guys on the second floor. I don't even really care!

Long story short, my character is too slow, he does too little damage, my healer doesn't even heal enough damage to make it worth trying, now that I'm out of the dungeon I have no idea what the hell to do, the graphics are tiny and it's hard to appreciate what's going on with 'em, there's doodads in the town that look like doodads but are actually important junk buying/selling NPCs, I have no idea what the plot is or where I fit into it, and I'm too tired to figure out what the hell's going on with all the multiple character shenanigans.

That's not to say it's a bad game, he clearly did put a lot of work into the battles and all, I just get the idea that he got his head so far up the "I should have 9 classes and make 'em do different stuff" hole that he forgot that characters and story are what let you stomach the battles and not vice versa. If you like slow, deliberate OHR fights you might like this. It just totally isn't what I was expecting and is not something I can imagine myself ever deeply being in the mood for. I like that he did animated battle backdrops, I like that he drew all this different weird stuff and took some time figuring out different movesets for different dudes, but it still needs a lot of work to be really really good. I was expecting a joke a minute, and there really aren't any, it's more off-beat than a humorous RPG. I'm sorry Meowski, from what I've seen it just doesn't seem like my bag. If there's ever a big update or you make something else, I'd be glad to take another look. Sometimes, a game just rubs you the wrong way and I think that's the case with this one.
Blubber Bloat
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 PostSun Sep 15, 2013 4:34 pm
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Many thanks and such, you can expect a lot of this to be fixed, and I'm working on making the story a little more...present. The next big update comes probably next year or the following, as I'm rebuilding the game from the ground up, including giving new design to most areas. As one might try to imagine, this is technically my first OHRRPGCE game, and it's still in the works, and I'm still figuring balance. Unfortunately, the low stats are gonna stay, as you gain anywhere from 1 - 3 of most stats a level, not including HP or EP. Thank you for trying! And thank you for confirming my suspicion that battles are a tad too slow. -Meow
dOn'T MiNd mE! i'M jUsT CoNtAgIoUs!!!
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