Retrospective Review: Walthrus: Return of the Crystals

[RMZ]

Walthrus
A Retrospective by RMZ from Hamster Speak Issue 18

Four years ago, Walthrus came out. And, fairly new to the community, I didn't understand it entirely, mostly because I didn't play Walthros until later on. When I had first reviewed the game, nobody understand why I didn't get this weird and quirky game. So today, I plan to redeem myself.


The story of Walthros is the backbone to Walthrus. You take the role of Bob Surlaw, a heroic fish who gets sucked into this whole "crystal fiasco". The entirity of the game is a giant parody of, in my opinion, Surlaw's best game.


Walthrus opens the same way Walthros does. The world of Walthros is unlike anything you or I have ever experienced. It's a world completely devoid of humans (well there are a few, like Dr.Mu, but for the most part there aren't any), and instead there are walking monsters and dinosaurs that inhabit the world. Mostly, sea creatures (fish, otters, walruses, etc.). But anyways, Bob Surlaw journeys to the Blue Shrine where this whole mess begins. One of the unique things about this game is that the character's personalities are taken into entirely different directions. Bob Surlaw becomes the bumbling idiot who points out the obvious, Salom Lancoven is a ruthless gangster winged seal, and of course, Super Walrus Man. This is the game that made SWM a force to be reckoned with, for sure. The loveable Yuk Deluxe (who appears in the hit RMZ game Surf's Up Yuk) actually talks. He goes from being... a pointless sea creature with nothing to say, to a pointless sea creature with uninteresting things to say. The dinosaurs are pretty hilarious, to say the least. Their personalities are very similar to what they were before, just taken to the extreme. They're not as drastic as Walrus Man's desire to kill everyone, or Salom's lust for bling, and finally the mice and Gulob are as uninteresting as we all remember.


Throughout the game, you will go through the events of the original. And with the characters drastic personality changes, you'll notice that the events all fall into place the same way, but they make less sense and are pretty hilarious. For instance, the scene where Walrus Man, Surlaw, and Salom go into a teleporter. Salom and SWM suggest Surlaw goes first in case it's a death machine. The game keeps this same momentum for the duration of it, but after the first 30-45 minutes are up, it really starts to drag on a bit.


The graphics aren't really anything to brag about (except the Gihern ones), which is the style Surlaw was going for I'm sure. All the sprites are made using the rectangle tool over and over until it resembles the character. They don't animate or anything really, but they do turn in all directions, heh. With the way the characters went, the artistic style fits perfectally, dispite its lack of quality.


Battles are basically there to show off fancy backdrops or to show that the players are fighting a boss to move along the story. The battles themselves are tedious button mashers that get old pretty quick. The money you recieve doesn't really help, other than to buy weird/perverted animated pictures. Speaking of which, one of the most amusing things in this game is the animated cutscenes with random anime scenes. I have no idea what the animes are, but it's still pretty rad.


Music is fairly annoying and none of it really fits the mood of the game. I'm betting Surlaw threw in random tracks that wouldn't make any sense just to make the game that much more awkward and hilarious.


All in all, is Walthrus : Return of the Crystals worth your time? Well, if you were a fan of the original, you will really enjoy seeing the creator parody his own masterpiece down to the finest detail. If you haven't played it before, I'd stay away from this game until you have played Walthros.