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2011 In Review 28: Habla No Ingles: The Movie 
 PostTue Jan 24, 2012 7:36 am
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This is a review of Habla No Ingles: The Movie.

Originally, "Habla No Ingles: The Movie" was gonna borrow from some older plans for a "Wilthawiya" sequel. Stephen, the hero of "Wilthawiya" was going to be leading an X-Files style investigation into the mysterious fridge. There was going to be an opening text crawl, recounting the canonical entries in the series with a serious, government-report type tone. Charbile was going to be the villain, wanting the fridge for his own nefarious but vague schemes. It was going to start with the fridge disappearing, and Giz wondering where it (and his beer and his chicken) have gotten off to. Nobody believed TheGiz didn't know where it was and a three-way battle would've ensued between Charbile, TheGiz and Stephen before the fridge popped up and they all chased it through the city.

Unfortunately, this would've taken too long so I started cutting corners. Charbile's motivations never made sense to me, so he got reduced to a cameo. I didn't want the nice "Wilthawiya" guy to brutally interrogate someone in the basement, so he got reduced to a cameo and my turkey-loving troll alter-ego DomGallo became the bad guy. That made me think of the holidays, so the plot became "The ladies think TheGiz is downstairs wrapping presents when he's really getting his ass kicked". A bunch of stupid ideas later, and Old TheGiz shows up to coach TheGiz in fighting. A lot of little tweaks and random things turned the story into what it is now, with each scene trying to reverse the tone of the previous one.

I adapted most of the techniques I picked up working on "Hydration 2: Oasis" to the OHR and for the first time ever, I had some confidence in my artistic abilities. I also stole a lot of graphics from the cancelled "Wilthawiya" sequel. The office scene and Stephen's business attire came from that concept. Most of the other maptiles came from "Halloween No Ingles", though I would've redone them had I had the time. I wasn't happy reusing old TheGiz walkabouts, but I couldn't get the hat to look right in the larger style I'd been playing with. I'm still proud of Mary and Jane's graphics, though the jiggle effect (an attempt to be more cinematic, Charlie's Angels style) isn't as impressive as I used to think.

No idea where the "DON'T BE RACIST" thing or the title screen came from. The point I was trying to make by ripping a picture of Bill Cosby and then badly MS Painting the same picture was that either way can be funny, but I didn't really do a good job of conveying that and I think trying to tie it back to the title screen made it even more confusing.

One of the complaints I heard about "Habla No Ingles: The Movie" was that it was misogynist. I actually think it goes farther than that. TheGiz is only interested in one thing from the women he courts (three if you count chicken and beer), but the ladies in his life are also only interested in one thing in return. Throughout the series when people, male or female, disappear on time travel adventures for weeks at a time, nobody notices. They just find satisfaction somewhere else. None of the relationships portrayed are healthy. It's all flawed, terrible people taking animal comforts from other flawed, terrible people. Anybody can show up in your bed naked with a cheeseburger. What's truely desirable in life is someone who notices when you're gone, someone who wonders where you've been and why they aren't with you. I hope people will try to find that in their lives, rather than whatever in the hell I've been advertising with the "No Ingles" series.

Long story short, this was a good learning experience for me. If I were making it again today, there's parts I'd leave out, heck, I thought about leaving them out back then. Didn't think it'd feel like a "No Ingles" game without 'em. Now, I realize that feeling like a "No Ingles" game isn't necessarily a good thing and that maybe I could've told this story in a way that's true to who I am now, rather than true to the guy that got cheap laughs when he was 15. I don't think "Habla No Ingles: The Movie" is a bad movie, but the raunch factor is a definite turnoff.

Score: 4/10
2011 Score (Per June 18th): 64/100

Part of Gomey's 2011 Year In Review
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