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Liquid Metal Slime
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 PostFri Jan 20, 2012 12:24 am
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JSH’s 2011 OHR Game Blog #39 – Mostly Involving Robots by Momoka

This game has two problems that I'll focus on separately in a bit: bad tutorial and insufficient pace. I realize that the limitations of the contest made this impossible to make truly good, mind. I don't think I'd go for the idea anyway, personally, but I want to say that in the game's defense.

First, this game has bad tutorial, which is a good transition from my previous review. The game presents all of the information to you in one series of giant text boxes and then immediately throws you to the wolves. I didn't read any of it, and I doubt many did. Final Fantasy XIII has gotten a lot of flack for its infamous first 30 hours of a linear path, but I want to argue that the first 30 hours of Final Fantasy XIII are (mostly) composed of great tutorial. The game introduces battle concepts to you gradually, such that at the end of it you have mastered or begun to master its combat.

That brings us to the second problem with Momoka's game: the length is insufficient for having a good learning curve in the first place. Since everything has to be learned at once and is then immediately tested, you... either know it or reset because you don't. That's lame. RMSephy's game, Arms Race, wasn't that hot but had much better pacing in that it introduces once concept at a time in its battles. Momoka might have done better to design similarly.

Rating: 1 Pile of Scrap Metal out of 10
My website, the home of Motrya:
http://www.jshgaming.com
A Scrambled Egg
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 PostFri Jan 20, 2012 12:28 am
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charbile wrote:
Personally, I find the Triangle and Surlaw cameos over-played. How did these two become icons of the ohr?

They're visually memorable, easy to draw, they're in lots of games, and some people really like some of those games a lot. You can do better than this.
Super Walrus Land: Mouth Words Edition
Liquid Metal Slime
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 PostFri Jan 20, 2012 12:40 am
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JSH’s 2011 OHR Game Blog #40 – Doodle Quest by Andy Warhol's Evil Twin Brother

OK, forget the freaking game. Let's talk about the song:
http://www.jshgaming.com/doodle.mid
ALL THIS GAME IS IS THE SONG. IT PLAYS ALL DAY LONG IN YOUR HEAD AND WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU ALONE.

DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO.
DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO.
DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO.
DOO DOO DOO.
DOO DOO-DOO DOO!

WHAT POSSESSED THIS GUY TO RELEASE THIS? THERE'S NOTHING APPROACHING A COMPLETE PRODUCT HERE. URGGGGHH THIS IS HORRIFYING, WHAT IS LIFE?!

I'M SORRY, BUT THIS SONG HAS TOTALLY BROKEN MY ABILITY TO CONSTRUCT PROPER PARAGRAPHS. TAKE THAT, SDHAWK, I'M NOT WRITING A REAL REVIEW OF THIS FOR ANYONE. GIZ IS A SAINT FOR DOING IT.

DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO.
DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO.
DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO.
DOO DOO DOO.
DOO DOO-DOO DOO!

DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO.
DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO.
DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO.
DOO DOO DOO.
DOO DOO-DOO DOO!


Rating: .5 DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO.
DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO.
DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO.
DOO DOO DOO.
DOO DOO-DOO DOO!s out of 10
My website, the home of Motrya:
http://www.jshgaming.com
Liquid Metal Slime
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 PostFri Jan 20, 2012 12:47 am
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JSH’s 2011 OHR Game Blog #41 – Virtual School 2 by Gomey

Virtual School 2 is a bit classier than The Giz's usual fare. It's a funny joke game about a little brother following his sibling to school and pestering him with questions and remarks. I enjoyed playing it, and I think even people who don't usually go for Giz's work might enjoy it as well.

One of the best parts of the game is what occurs when you find all of the endings. I don't want to spoil it, but I was quite surprised and very satisfied with the final outcome of the story. It's odd because you wouldn't think that the game could have an emotional impact given the setup, but in the ultimate ending, I really nearly wept.

In the future, I imagine Giz will probably make more games similar to Virtual School 2. It's kind of strange that a game that's just walking around and talking to NPCs can be as entertaining as this, but I guess I enjoyed Dragon Quest VII for similar reasons.

Rating: 6 Studly Professors out of 10
My website, the home of Motrya:
http://www.jshgaming.com
Liquid Metal Slime
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 PostFri Jan 20, 2012 1:06 am
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JSH’s 2011 OHR Game Blog #42 – Angel Whispers by RMSephy

Angel Whispers, in its present form, is mostly a tech demo of what should be a really cool game when it's finished. The battle system reminds me of Sengoku Rance (which is a good thing) and I think has a lot of potential. Time will tell if Sephy manages to make a great game out of it.

If you're not familiar with Rance, the combat is something like a traditional RPG meets strategy RPG. You control the Tactician, and place units on the screen that follow your orders. Angel Whispers has some neat commands, like telling the party to focus on one enemy instead of attacking at random, among other things. There is a lot that can be done.

Sephy's writing is very amusing to read, even when it's just covering mundane things like leveling up and getting treasures. I think that he could make a very entertaining, unpretentious story and this demo does well in presenting what might become one. The visual style is also very refreshing and shows promise.

All in all, it's a good preview of a game that will hopefully come out some day.

Rating: 5 Hopeful Wishes out of 10
My website, the home of Motrya:
http://www.jshgaming.com
Liquid Metal Slime
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 PostFri Jan 20, 2012 2:11 am
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JSH’s 2011 OHR Game Blog #43 – The Black Heart of Exile by Willy 2 Electric Boogaloo

This is the best of the games by Willy that I've reviewed so far, but I'm really still just not feeling it. To start with some positives, I liked the music a lot, and thought it added quite a bit of feeling to the post-apocalyptic atmosphere of the game. While the game mostly consists of mazes, at least in the portion of it that I played, they're pretty decently done.

I liked the pacing of the exposition. You learn more as you progress, which is nice. On the same note, though, I don't care for the preparation phase that precedes playing through the maze. In general, I don't care for games that give me a bunch of options right at the start and leave me hoping I somehow knew my decisions were for the best (unless it's something really simple like Final Fantasy 1). Some people really like that kind of thing; I'm just not a fan.

I went with the fastest character at the start because I expected the battles to be really slow, and sadly, they are still really slow. With the difficulty factor of the game being very high, this doesn't make for a good combo. If I'm going to have to reset a lot, I'd prefer to die faster rather than slower.

This game probably has its market, but I don't think I'm interested in playing any more of it. Spellshard does the dungeon thing a little better in my opinion. That said, the art style is weird and kind of neat, so it's worth a shot.

Rating: 4.5 Bleeding Eyes out of 10
My website, the home of Motrya:
http://www.jshgaming.com
Liquid Metal Slime
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 PostFri Jan 20, 2012 2:33 am
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JSH’s 2011 OHR Game Blog #44 – Escape from Strong Castle by jcenterprises

Confession time. I didn't replay this game for this review. I realize that this is terrible of me.

See, here's the thing. I remember this game well enough. You just hold a direction and travel through a billion floors to the end.

Except the boss is impossible or something like that. I used Control F1 to simply warp there myself. It wasn't worth it.

Rating: .5 Songs that Never End out of 10
My website, the home of Motrya:
http://www.jshgaming.com
Liquid Metal Slime
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 PostFri Jan 20, 2012 2:52 am
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JSH’s 2011 OHR Game Blog #45 – Kim und Jose by marionline

This game is entirely in German, but that doesn't matter. It doesn't seem to work correctly anyway. I knew things were off to a bad start when the included exe said the game was an unsupported rpg file...

Talking to NPCs just results in script errors, and all of them have the same sprite as you. Even the (I assume titular Kim) has the (I assume) sprite of Jose. It feels like a most incomplete of demos by a new user.

I have to wonder why people even release things like this. I mean, even when I released my first game, I knew everything in it worked before I let anybody see it. The thought process kind of baffles me.

This game is unrateable, but it really doesn't seem that promising anyway, so... I'll give it a half point for some almost Giz-like walkabout sprites.

Rating: 1 Creepy Clone out of 10
My website, the home of Motrya:
http://www.jshgaming.com
Liquid Metal Slime
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 PostFri Jan 20, 2012 3:12 am
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JSH’s 2011 OHR Game Blog #46 – Dungeon Quest by nickismo

Another "big set of dungeons" game released in 2011. This one fares a lot worse than others, and really just for one reason. It's lazily made.

We have missing backdrops and enemies that don't go away from the map after you beat them. There are giant mazes with nothing to mix them up that you should just Ctrl+F1 to get through. The graphics are purposefully tiny, and not done so stylistically like in Willy E's games--you get the sense that the creator just wanted to get production over with.

The nail in the coffin is that the demo ends on the second floor with no text or anything. This is yet another demo released for no real reason than to say "hey, I made a game." Wish I could give it more positives, but this one's just not a winner here.

Rating: 1 Debug Key Pressed out of 10
My website, the home of Motrya:
http://www.jshgaming.com
Liquid Metal Slime
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 PostFri Jan 20, 2012 3:17 am
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JSH357 wrote:
The graphics are purposefully tiny, and not done so stylistically like in Willy E's games--you get the sense that the creator just wanted to get production over with.


For the record, I ripped off the idea of making tiny sprites from Dungeon Quest. I reviewed Dungeon Quest for Hamsterspeak and then immediately stole the idea.
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 PostFri Jan 20, 2012 3:20 am
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Interesting! Well, you do it a lot better, that's for sure! Chrono Trigger is the game that jumps to mind to me that uses the tiny sprites well. (On the world maps)
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http://www.jshgaming.com
Liquid Metal Slime
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 PostFri Jan 20, 2012 3:22 am
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JSH357 wrote:
Interesting! Well, you do it a lot better, that's for sure! Chrono Trigger is the game that jumps to mind to me that uses the tiny sprites well. (On the world maps)


I agree that it the tiny sprite are not well-implemented in Dungeon Quest, but the idea is novel. And seeing good ideas is the only point to playing newbie games.

What's great about the tiny sprites is that they make the monsters look comparatively huge and imposing.
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 PostFri Jan 20, 2012 3:54 am
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JSH’s 2011 OHR Game Blog #47 – Princess FLESH RPG by JesseGames

I streamed a video of this game because it's just so baffling. If you'd rather watch that than read a review, check it out here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=85ayH1hnils

Princess FLESH, or Flesh Bone Adventure, or whatever this is supposed to be, is one of the weirdest games released on the engine in 2011. If it's some kind of joke, I thought it was hilarious. If it's not, I fear for humanity.

Sounds don't make sense. Battles are impossible to sit through. Balance is non-existent. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse wait with loaded rifles. This game will bring you to tears with its surreal bad quality.

And... I enjoyed it! Maybe I'm laughing at it, not with it, but every now and then a bad game like this can be really darn funny. Princess Flesh is worth playing just to get a kick out of it, and I recommend it.

Rating: 3.5 Fleshy Bones out of 10
My website, the home of Motrya:
http://www.jshgaming.com
Liquid Metal Slime
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 PostFri Jan 20, 2012 4:38 am
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JSH’s 2011 OHR Game Blog #48 – There is Nothing Left by shakeyair

Ah, shakeyair; he quickly became one of my favorite OHR developers after posting his brilliant Tetris port and screenshots of his Mario fangame that never got made. There is Nothing Left is yet another hit--a game that is disturbing and visceral despite only allowing one action.

The gameplay is terrible, but it's basically Whack-a-Mole anyway. What's so effective is the art direction--that swirling, Mother-style battle background, those empty shells of people gradually becoming more and more frightening, and the eerie music backing all this. You'll probably be amazed this can even be pulled off in the engine.

Do I think it's a 'great' game? No, not really. But by abandoning an attempt at making a good GAMEPLAY concept out of the Fight Battle restrictions, shakeyair succeeded in making an interesting experience that's hard to forget. I usually don't care much for these 'art games,' but like last year's Tilt, I thought this was quite good.

Rating: 6.5 Capped White Boys out of 10
My website, the home of Motrya:
http://www.jshgaming.com
Liquid Metal Slime
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 PostFri Jan 20, 2012 4:56 am
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JSH357 wrote:
I just feel like there's nothing to see here and people are only touting the Emperor's New Clothes. I'm interested to see a legit review by somebody who enjoyed this with an explanation that actually makes sense, as I can't imagine why anybody would put themselves through it other than waxing nostalgia. Even then, heck, in their shoes I'd rather just play an actual Atari game than whatever Star Quest is. Sure, I'm not in the target audience here, but I don't think I really want to be if they actually enjoy playing stuff like this.


Since you are being so critical, I'd like to be critical with you. I think your dismissive summary of Star Quest is uninformed and uninformative. Other than its visual style, Star Quest is nothing like an Atari 2600 game. It's much more expansive with a focus on open-ended exploration and experimentation that actually feels fairly modern. Solving its puzzles requires a lot of out of the box thinking. It is often necessary to manipulate the maps and NPCs in unexpected ways. While I understand and respect that many people don't like its design, I think equally many people could get some great ideas from it.

I might take you up on your challenge to write a legit review that makes sense. Although it will take some time because I prefer to play the games to completion to avoid making snap judgements.
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