HamsterSpeak 33 Online

[The Wobbler]

http://superwalrusland.com/ohr/issue33/cover.html

After a brief delay, Issue 33 is here, full of more information on the 48 Hour Contest than you may be ready for, a look at The Slime King, and more.

[FnrrfYgmSchnish]

Wow... really wasn't expecting Okédoké to show up on the Top 30 list (especially not so high up!)

That's the second time I've ever had a game on the list. I still can't figure out how The Kirby Lands made it on there once way back in the day, though (I'm pretty sure I didn't vote for it--I can't remember ever voting on a Top 30 before the most recent one.)

[Bob the Hamster]

[The Cover] Aaaawesome!

[Gohrillas Review] gorillas.bas is to QuickBasic as Super Mario Bros is to NES

[48 hour contest] Good turnout. I'm still bummed I haven't had time to play more than a handful of entries yet.

[Funkotronic] I am waiting for somebody to make a game where the *real* crew of the Funkotronic go on a non-violent non-sexual adventure to clear their names from the slanderous depiction of them in other games so far, and carry the message of tolerance and understanding to the galaxy that g.a.y spacemen are people too, just like you and me. After all, the Xplthblqtk people of the planet Epsilon Eridani j have 146 totally distinct yet completely interchangeable genders. Why should Earthlings get a bad rap just because they rearrange our two?

[Ask Surlaw] I think I want this to become a half-assed flash animation on youtube more than I have ever wanted anything to become a half-assed flash animation on youtube.

[Slime King] I rampantly speculate impending awesomeness. Also, Fortis, more "You Encounter A Monster" updates!

[Top 30] Mwahahahah *gloat gloat* ... actually, I am sorry I didn't get around to voting this time.

[Hero Sprite Pack] *happiness seizures*

[camdog]

Great issue, as always.

I'd love to see a shiny but rusty that actually reviewed a decent game. I don't know how possible this is, given how much garbage litters the archives, and I know you said you intentionally pick games at random in an attempt to give a review to every game, but perhaps maybe you could pick one that obviously had some effort put into it next time? I just don't think we gain a lot from a review of 'Will Mr. Bacon Ever Win?'. (Kudos, though, for braving some of these games)

[Skullduggery Studios]

Yeah... I'm still trying to decide whether or not to download the 'shiny but rusty' games just for the heck of it.

I did, however, play all the contest entries. Loved the Red Mage one. Liked the Funkotronic, just because of the Dance Dance Revolution thing. I've never played any OHR games with that, although I read that they exist. Didn't really like any of the others. When playing the SantaBangBang one, I kept asking(quite loudly, too) "WHY AM I STILL PLAYING THIS GAME???" And then complementing the music.

@James: I was actually wondering if anybody was going to turn the Surlaw on Trial into a vid! Dunno how to make flash animations, but I'd give it a try maybe possibly if people wanted it that badly...

[Meatballsub]

Great issue, as always.

I'd love to see a shiny but rusty that actually reviewed a decent game. I don't know how possible this is, given how much garbage litters the archives, and I know you said you intentionally pick games at random in an attempt to give a review to every game, but perhaps maybe you could pick one that obviously had some effort put into it next time? I just don't think we gain a lot from a review of 'Will Mr. Bacon Ever Win?'. (Kudos, though, for braving some of these games)

I understand what you mean but let me quote something I said in the last issue:

I feel I should stress the idea behind Shiny but Rusty again. I strongly feel that every game should have a review, regardless of its state and condition. That means that I may come across many that have the same characteristics of the games above, but I will still review them. Sure, I would like to always have titles that I can write pages about, but that is not always the case. The bottom line is that I will keep reviewing games, both old and new, regardless of their content. Some games, if not many, will be duds. Then again, some of them could be gems.

That's just it. Some games will be crap, some will not. Some games may not be worthy of reviews, some will be worthy. That whole point of SBR from the beginning was to give every un-reviewed title a review, regardless of content.

Not to mention you will never know exactly what a game is all about until you play it. Yeah, most people could probably take a hint from Mr. Bacon without evening downloading it, but it isn't necessarily fair to judge every book by its cover. I'm sure that I will uncover some good games eventually (a couple revealed in the first issue were not that bad anyways).

Hope this helps.

[The Wobbler]

[Ask Surlaw] I think I want this to become a half-assed flash animation on youtube more than I have ever wanted anything to become a half-assed flash animation on youtube.

We were actually talking about doing it as a puppet show for a while. Still might.

[Bob the Hamster]

Hehe Puppets. Awesome :)

I have always enjoyed reading both Meatballsub's Shiny But Rusty and Pepsi Ranger's Covered In Dust. Although the crappy games are always disappointed, I am always excited by the possibility that something cool that everybody had overlooked might have been uncovered.

Even though all four games reviewed this time were crappy, I still read the article with interest, and am looking forward to the next batch.

[Gizmog]

Overall, I enjoyed it. The Top 30 is always a lot of fun, and the 48 hour reviews certainly satisfied my vanity. On that note, I was disappointed that Surlaw didn't realize that King of Gourmet had more than one battle, or that Santa Bang-Bang was more than just the first screen. "Review Blitz", indeed. His other reviews were well written and enjoyable.

Meatball's reviews tasted even better, giving even the games he found offensive fair appraisal, and I commend him for that.

Having not one, but two sets of reviews really makes the contest feel like a focal point of the community, and I hope future contests will take advantage of that. Praise from "the press" is worth more, to me at least, than the prizes that are offered.

I enjoyed reading the other reviews, gonna have to give GOHRILLAS a try. Shiny But Rusty is less interesting this time because I've played two of the games, and the games in question clearly don't share the effort of the previous honorees. More Submarines, fewer Mr. Bacons, please.

The only thing I didn't like at all was RMZ's preview of Proximity Project. A preview should give you more to chew on, especially when it comes 5 months early. It seemed rather rushed, and I won't remember it come May, let alone be looking forward to it.

Thanks and kudos to all of you for keeping this thing going. I look forward to it every month.

[The Wobbler]

I will say that my Review Blitz was rushed, because I really wanted an article covering these games and I didn't have a chance to get to them until the last minute, and MBS sent me his shortly after I'd finished mine.

I'll admit that I should have put more time into playing King of Gourmet, but Santa Bang Bang was incredibly dull and I don't know how it did as well as it did. I had less desire to hunt down NPCs in SBB than I had to gather pennies in Wage Slave.

Funkotronic X-mas was the only game that offended me, and it didn't deserve "fair appraisal." The gameplay was copy and pasted from another game, and everything about it was vile. It wasn't worth the amount of words I DID write on it, let alone something more.

[Gizmog]

Don't disagree with you on that point. The original at least had a funny song, this just had humping and "The f-bomb". I was referring mostly to Meatball's review of Santa Bang-Bang where he talks about how he thinks it's sacreligious.

[RMZ]

The Preview I did was rushed, I'll admit it. Surlaw had asked me to contribute it, but yeah, I'll try and make a beefier one later on when I actually get real content going in it.

[rebobinar]

I'm a little undecided on how to feel about this. . . lol. On one hand people are trashing my game (I totally understand though, it's not for every one. Not every one has the same off kilter sense of humor I do.)
And on the other hand: I got second place.

Second place with a game that nobody really seemed to like. ?!?!

Whatever. I got second place! with the first game I ever finished! *does happy dance*

I do totally enjoy reading hampster speak's reviews by the way, and like the cover arts and things!
-Kelley

[The Wobbler]

I would have given Santa Bang Bang a more fair look if the first stage wasn't huge and devoid of any sort of challenge. There was no reason for that stage to be bigger than one screen.

[rebobinar]

Ok, let me explain what happened when I was making SBB. (addressing the abnormally HUGE first stage that was not challenging)

I started making a game a while ago and may or may not have gotten stuck on how much fun I was having decorating the stage. In this game there are certain npcs that give you more life and certain ones that do damage. At the end there is the door to the next stage where you have to get to a certain level to get out.

For the 48 hr contest, since using previous games was allowed I figured I'd just change most of the graphics and damaging npcs to enter. I'm glad I did, this serves (generally speaking) as a testing for the first three levels of my actual game.

Yes, I've made the first stage smaller. Npcs actually do different things. In SBB all the children looked the same, I didn't think it'd really be fair to the player if one gave life and one killed you.
If any one got to the forest: I'm taking out that massive number of npcs the player must kill before advancing. I think the final count was like, 55?
I promise the real game isn't offensive either. Unless you're partial to bugs.

Also: it's the first stage! what did you want to have to do?! First stages are supposed to be easy!
-Kelley