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Liquid Metal Slime
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 PostThu Jan 19, 2012 7:23 pm
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JSH’s 2011 OHR Game Blog #28 – Motrya for Casuals by JSH357

This is hardly even a game, really. The Giz's review gets it right on the mark, though I imagine he's overestimating it for comedic effect. Motrya for Casuals is just a joke made for people who played Motrya and thought the rules of Mogri's Fight Battle Contest were too limiting to be entertaining.

I did aim to be disqualified by technically breaking the rules, and I didn't want to pass up the joke here. It got some laughs, so I'd call it a success, but yeah, this is a really dumb game I can't recommend. The Mitch Hedverg routine on the title screen concerns a Minibar, which was part of the joke: this is "Motrya mini."

Actually, the hardest part of making this game was the music. I have come to really enjoy editing audio and video over the past few years, so mashing up Vampi's old boss battle theme with some joke songs was fun. It's incredibly how infuriating they are to listen to.

Rating: 1.5 Yous Given Up out of 10
My website, the home of Motrya:
http://www.jshgaming.com
Liquid Metal Slime
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 PostThu Jan 19, 2012 7:32 pm
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JSH’s 2011 OHR Game Blog #29 – Heart of the OHR Tribute by Barnabus

Look, I'm gonna get this out of the way: I think Barnabus is a genius, and I wish he'd post more games or share some of his wit with the rest of us. This game here is just as funny as "All the Games" from 2010. It's a bit more topical and thus more subject to the passage of time, but it's so creative that I can't NOT throw him a bone here.

The idea of paying tribute to every game in the contest in some ridiculous way is charming, and it slimes all over every other joke game released this year. I went in to this in a previous review: even joke games have to be tolerable, and these are.

I know it's selfish, but the Motrya game made me laugh the hardest. Just... the idea of Vanilla Ice as Icebird, and I never realized how silly it is that Mr. Parthax was OK with poisoning his students as a test. Barnabus's game pokes fun at the games while still paying tribute to what he likes about them, and that is NOT easy to do. As a result, I'd personally say this was one of the OHR's best games of 2011.

Rating: 8 Hearts Broken out of 10
My website, the home of Motrya:
http://www.jshgaming.com
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 PostThu Jan 19, 2012 7:42 pm
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JSH’s 2011 OHR Game Blog #30 – Deforestation by Spoonweaver

Ah, some more games Hawk forced us to write three paragraphs about in order to make this challenging. Bring it on!

Deforestation is a funny little movie that has not stood the test of time. The only really notable thing about this movie is its ad campaign. Spoonweaver did an excellent job hyping up what was clearly going to be a joke, and it was quite amusing if you were there.

Well, I was there, but I can't imagine everyone was. And for those everyones, now we just have a guy chopping down a tree and the world blowing up. Yeah, not very exciting, and it doesn't last long enough to be more than a one-note joke.

I'll give Spoonweaver some credit for production: the sound mixing is pretty good. This kind of thing is pretty popular on Newgrounds and the like, so what do I know, maybe it's better than I think. Still, beyond being a meme there's not much here.

In the review of the second game, I'll discuss his ad campaign a little more, as I have thoughts related to it.

Rating: 2 Trees Chopped out of 10
My website, the home of Motrya:
http://www.jshgaming.com
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 PostThu Jan 19, 2012 7:55 pm
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JSH’s 2011 OHR Game Blog #31 – Fat Frog the Movie by FNRURHOTHOEGHUROBW

God, I realize I'm probably sounding like such a jerk bashing all these movie entries in, but I really can't help it--I just don't think this contest produced much of value. Fat Frog the Movie won the contest, and I know why it did, but I don't think that means it's a very good MOVIE. Yeah, it does some neat graphical tricks in the OHR, which I respect well enough, but it's honestly not very entertaining--the story is pretty much a Saturday morning cartoon plot that serves as a vehicle for the visuals. It's the kind of thing you'd string together just for fun, not enter in to a contest.

The reason this entry won, let's be honest, is that it was the least controversial entry in the contest. Think about it. We had: my games, 4 hopeless troll entries; Spoonweaver's games, which were amusing but advertised obnoxiously; Giz's game, a joke nobody but fans of his would get; Triangle, which might or might not have been telling one of the contest runners to go kill himself; Monster Lot, which was panned from the get-go; and finally, Fat Frog: The Movie, which was just kind of an "okay" story with some elaborate action scenes. The voters were so split on everything else that this just had the best chance.

Watching it again, I'm just bored here. Yeah, it helps for a film to have lots of movement, which this entry does the best, but I don't feel like the story is saying or doing anything. If FNRFFSIUHIEW had been doing the graphics and written a more meaningful script or worked with someone focusing purely on that, maybe then I could see it. Instead, it's just 15 minutes of nothing of significance going on or being said. That's why, even though it's rough around the edges and offensive, I have to say Triangle was the better "film." And I'll stand by that.

Rating: 3.5 Frogs on Paula Dean Kicks out of 10
My website, the home of Motrya:
http://www.jshgaming.com
Metal Slime
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 PostThu Jan 19, 2012 8:06 pm
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charbile wrote:

Question: Some of these don't really deserve more than a couple sentences. How loose is that 3 paragraph / 3 sentence rule? Looking at the Harry Potters.


I'll just go out and say it: I'll accept one paragraph reviews (or 3 paragraphs for the series) for the HP games. Don't expect any other exemptions though. (Most of the other likely candidates are newbie games but you may as well give them the full treatment since they're at least individual games).

Props to JSH for somehow managing to go the full rules with them, though (I suppose making them helped).
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 PostThu Jan 19, 2012 8:18 pm
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JSH’s 2011 OHR Game Blog #32 – Spectrum by Spectrum Studios

I feel bad giving this game one sentence, let alone three paragraphs. It is quite clearly a joke meant to waste your time, and a poorly constructed one at that. There isn't anything witty about this; it's like an unfunny Arfenhouse 3 with no wacky surrealism to back it up.

All this game is is a bunch of stick figure NPCs saying stock joke NPC things. There's nothing else to see, and considering that the creator pulled this off of Slime Salad, he must have realized it was a bad joke too. If this was not a joke, I apologize, Mr. Game Maker, but you should find a different hobby.

I'm really against joke games that are presented as poorly as this one, and I'm not sure what it is that grinds my gears so much. I realize it might seem like the creator has successfully trolled me since I'm complaining so much, but I have to write three paragraphs for this to be accepted for the contest so I am. See? This game has even less value than a silly contest.

Rating: .5 Wastes of Time out of 10
My website, the home of Motrya:
http://www.jshgaming.com
Liquid Metal Slime
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 PostThu Jan 19, 2012 8:44 pm
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JSH’s 2011 OHR Game Blog #33 – Star Quest by 8-bit City

I've heard this game praised occasionally throughout the year, and honestly I do not get it at all. I found this ridiculous slog of a game to be completely devoid of any entertainment. Personal preference rant warning, skip to the next paragraph if you like the graphics in this game: I also don't think the visual style is something to be celebrated, no matter what Atari-generation enthusiasts say: this stuff looks primitive and totally unappealing to me, and yes, anyone can do it nowadays, so it's not unique either. Speaking as a person who can barely draw a duck, I could easily recreate these graphics using the fill tool or just ask a ten year old to do it for me.

So Star Quest has a big, ugly overworld with a bunch of places you have to find, most of which I'm sure I didn't. The "mini-games" I was able to find were basically just fake plotscripting nightmares that people got away with ten years ago in the engine, but shouldn't exist anymore. If you actually enjoyed that racing game, even in jest, I have to wonder what's wrong with your face.

I just feel like there's nothing to see here and people are only touting the Emperor's New Clothes. I'm interested to see a legit review by somebody who enjoyed this with an explanation that actually makes sense, as I can't imagine why anybody would put themselves through it other than waxing nostalgia. Even then, heck, in their shoes I'd rather just play an actual Atari game than whatever Star Quest is. Sure, I'm not in the target audience here, but I don't think I really want to be if they actually enjoy playing stuff like this.

Let me know how you feel. I'll get back to you on that.

Rating: 1.5 Confused JSHes out of 10
My website, the home of Motrya:
http://www.jshgaming.com
Liquid Metal Slime
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 PostThu Jan 19, 2012 9:10 pm
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JSH’s 2011 OHR Game Blog #34 – Bufanda: A Tale of Three Ghosts by Surlaw

Bufanda is a text adventure with some nice writing and a bit of a mystery to it. It's pretty no-frills, and not really that exciting, but I enjoyed the game for what it is. You play the role of a character who is visited by some "ghosts" and finds out what they are as the story unfolds.

The game has six endings, but I only found three of them during my time with it. It's probably very simple to get the rest. The story aims to be weird and a little spooky, and succeeds in that, so if that sounds like your cup of tea, give it a shot.

I do think that the game would have benefited from visuals, or at the very least some chilling music ala Hotel Dusk. Really, the only thing holding it back is that it's a pure text adventure, which can only be so exciting to me. The story's entertaining enough, and not superfluously worded like many of these games. I'd say it's a pretty good one.

Rating: 6 Walthros References out of 10
My website, the home of Motrya:
http://www.jshgaming.com
Metal Slime
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 PostThu Jan 19, 2012 9:25 pm
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SDHawk wrote:
I'll just go out and say it: I'll accept one paragraph reviews (or 3 paragraphs for the series) for the HP games. Don't expect any other exemptions though. (Most of the other likely candidates are newbie games but you may as well give them the full treatment since they're at least individual games).


Can I get away with reviewing one or more of them with a hand drawn picture? If not, it's fine.
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 PostThu Jan 19, 2012 9:30 pm
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Castle on the Night Land
---

First impressions: homemade music, right? It fits. White graphics on a black background. I'm already seeing a pattern given the previous red and black game. I expect the next one to be green and black or something.

Full disclosure: I've played this game before at the recommendation of 2 highly trusted individuals who swear by its entertainment. I could see it, but it's not for me.

The music, while functional, reminds me of when I first started messing around with midi keyboards, creating wandering and formless ambiance loops.

The graphics, while functional, remind me of old appleII games. That's okay, this is an old school adventure, we're here for other things. And it's at this point that I can't express exactly what, I don't know...

The first map, there's a wraith set to chase you, and once you touch it, which the help file says to touch everything, it kills you. This is first thing. This is the game's initial firm handshake, making sure you understand exactly who it is. I tried giving it a chance; for whatever reason, I can't get in the mood to play it, even though I fell like I'm in the target audience. It's not to say it's bad, just extremely retro and tedious, best saved for when the mood strikes.

One last thing: given that the player's going to see the game over screen a few times, that jump between showing it, pressing a button, the map showing again for a split second to then jump to the title -- a small plotscript here would go a long, long way. It's like, no matter the quality of a 3D work, the first moment you see major clipping, it degrades the immersion quality instantly.

Judgment: Best saved for when you are in the mood to play a retro ambient adventure.
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 PostThu Jan 19, 2012 9:33 pm
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Don't Push the Button 2011
---

I never played the original. It was released during the period where I was heavily involved in making an ohr game, I think, and I simply lost interest in this kind of work.

From what I've read, I imagine it's like this: there would be the picture of a button, and annoying text, with the idea to see how long you can last before you get tired of it all and 'press the button'. I know it's sometimes wrong to prejudge without giving something a chance, but you also don't need to first jump off a cliff to know it's a bad idea.

Turns out I was somewhat close. It's a battle with an annoying tick tock sound effect and graphic, where it tricks you into pushing the button by 'making the game' instead of an attack command, thus ending the battle and completing the gag. I like the run text.

Judgment: Not worth the download.

For whatever reason, I can't escape out of the game. If this isn't also part of the gag, I may have incorrectly reviewed Bufanda. Pretty sure this is a gag from our little stinker and not an engine bug, though.
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 PostThu Jan 19, 2012 9:36 pm
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Doodle Quest
---

Only the rpg file is included. It's hard enough getting me to download, but then to do so and not be able to play it from the get go? I don't know who made this, so the assumption is it's someone's first attempt.

First impression: graphics live up to the title. Music choice is horrible, but I can blame whoever is responsible for the default includes for the ohrrpgce.

This is what everyone calls a 'newbie game', and while I don't like being elitist and running away new people, rather embracing them, I don't feel like sugar-coating the fact that if you've played one of these kind of games, you've played them all. They're the games when you first start getting into the ohr, you say to yourself, "Man, I could ROCK this place if this is all they can do!" And then you make something and eventually realize you did it yourself, maybe not as badly, but you did and perhaps learned something important, making you a stronger developer.

Then again, it's fun to play with the ohr, and what I wrote here doesn't matter in that respect. This is someone else's toy, who was nice enough to share.

Judgment: Not worth playing.
Liquid Metal Slime
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 PostThu Jan 19, 2012 9:43 pm
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JSH’s 2011 OHR Game Blog #35 – Escape from the Wolf OHR by James 'the man' Paige

Escape from the Wolf is like a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. It's delicious going down, but it's over far too quick and doesn't leave much of an impression on you afterward. Seeing as the game is a plotscripting exercise first and foremost, that's about as nice a thing as I can say about it.

The best thing about Escape from the Wolf is the creative use of sound effects. I love how it gets more frantic as the wolf draws near; it's both amusing and a great game design choice. I also enjoyed how quickly the game runs, which is most appropriate.

There's not much to say after that. This is a solid game, but just once. I can only rate a gimmick so high, even though this is a darn good one.

Rating: 5.5 Little Girls out of 10
My website, the home of Motrya:
http://www.jshgaming.com
Metal Slime
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 PostThu Jan 19, 2012 10:44 pm
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charbile wrote:

Can I get away with reviewing one or more of them with a hand drawn picture? If not, it's fine.


This is a really neat idea and I don't want to say no, but in the interests of equality in competition (and in not turning the rules into a patch work of exceptions) I'm going to say no. You're welcome to include illustrations with your reviews, though.
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 PostThu Jan 19, 2012 10:52 pm
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JSH’s 2011 OHR Game Blog #36 – Labyrinth by RMSephy

A gem released late in the year! This might be RMSephy's most fun game to date. It's the game Voltire's The Tower wanted to be--a nail-biting classic RPG romp through a long dungeon.

This game thrives on its simplicity. Characters equip the skill they get to use in battle (hm... a bit like Motrya, I guess?) and each are unique. I really enjoyed the Thief's design; I prefer this game's implementation of stealing to the way it is in most RPGs. Stealing items makes your enemies lose some function in battle, which you can then field to your advantage by equipping, like a Nurse Hat or iron helmet.

I did find the game quite difficult, and was not able to beat the first boss in a couple of tries, but what I did play was enjoyable, if a little tedious. Perhaps a save point along the way that doesn't offer healing is in order? That's about all I'd change. Keep up the good work, Sephy. Your games are getting better and better.

Rating: 7.5 Dungeons Explored out of 10
My website, the home of Motrya:
http://www.jshgaming.com
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