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2011 In Review 01: The Broken Promise of Princess Flesh 
 PostTue Jan 10, 2012 3:19 am
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FLESH0006.png
This is a review of Princess FLESH cartoon RPG.

Provocatively named, "Princess FLESH cartoon RPG" (or "PRICESS FLESH RPG","Flesh", or "Flesh Bones EPIC adventure" it's not very clear) starts 2011 with expectations of adventures with amourous animated royals, or perhaps cannibalism. Unfortunately, Elevenites would have to wait for OHR sexy times and cannibalism for there is none to be found here. A joke game without a joke, Princess Flesh is a bizarre debut for JesseGames.

Graphically, there's some promise on display. The Princess' walkabout reminds me of Jill of the Jungle and her hero graphic is well animated. Maptiles are very basic solid colors, though varying the shades makes for an okay lake and when the author decides to elaborate with a scruff of grass,a spattering of mud or a tree the result is pleasing. Trouble is, that's all the game's got.

The first NPC is a scroll which warns you that the game is a demo and then advertises the author's deviantart. You can also talk to a merchant who asks you "Yes or no?" and sells you equipment, though none of it is needed to beat the game's only enemy. A brown squiggle (Supposedly a fairy) joins your party and you go through a black and gray cave. Going down a dead end gets you made fun of, and your fairy rarely and randomly asks "Are we there yet?". After that you "fight" the Tetris Dagger, and two turns later you're victorious, left wondering.

What was the author's intention? The story is almost non-existant and horribly presented. The battles are pointless. Still, it feels like there's something here. When a character walks left, only one foot animates. When they walk right, both feet animate. Why? The brown squiggle that follows you around appears to be a rough draft of the wooden X that blocks off the cave. Why? Jesse drew a pretty good title screen and a decent portrait for Princess, and then made a jaggy MS Paint mess for the fairy. Why?

There was effort put into this. I remember playing it when it came out, baffled at the name, and hoping that this guy would take his graphical skills and make something better. That this was the awkward first step of a possible talent. JesseGames has posted nothing since.
Score: 2.5/10

2011 Score (per Jan 3rd): 17 out of 100.

Part of Gomey's 2011 Year In Review
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