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Metal King Slime
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 PostMon Jun 20, 2011 3:54 am
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That's a very reasonable and well defended vote. In my opinion the most important part of Story Telling is pacing and Monster Lot had so much going on that every potentially interesting plotline had to wait for 4 others before it could move on to the next bit. I didn't think it was poorly written but I did think it needed a lot of editing to flow more smoothly from one point to the next. Hence the 1 vote. I know how disappointing that feeling is, and I'm sorry.

Fnrff's entry had the same pacing problems. Properly edited, I would've given it a 2. A properly edited Monster Lot could've received a 3.
A Scrambled Egg
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 PostMon Jun 20, 2011 4:06 am
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Gizmog wrote:
I didn't think it was poorly written but I did think it needed a lot of editing to flow more smoothly from one point to the next.

Now this I can understand and agree with. Its pacing is without a doubt its biggest flaw, and I wish I could have done a better job. I don't agree at all that the story is incoherent, but I can definitely see wanting the lesser scenes to hurry up and end so you could get to what actually mattered.

If I could do it all again I'd probably cut the flashback, the "5 o'clock, time to leave" scene, and combined the "Meeting Pig/Tasha" and "Meeting Shelly/Steve" scenes into one, probably eliminating one or two of those characters. They do extend the movie longer than they need to, and don't really add anything significant to the plot. The lawyer intern could be cut without changing anything. Same with the janitor. The lunch time scene could probably stand to be shorter than it is too, but I do like Syd's interactions with the clerk a lot. I also think Loretta's order list is funny.

I'm very open to specific criticism about which scenes worked and which ones didn't, because I do feel I made some mistakes. I am still proud of it though, and think that it's still very much worth watching.
Super Walrus Land: Mouth Words Edition
Slime Knight
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 PostMon Jun 20, 2011 5:05 am
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Auto-advance would help a lot, manipulating the cue timings as well improves the pace.
Liquid Metal Slime
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 PostMon Jun 20, 2011 2:23 pm
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Triangle - 2/2/2

Monster Lot - 3/2/1
♪♪♪ Du du duuuu ♪♪♪
Liquid Metal Slime
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 PostTue Jun 21, 2011 4:36 am
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Deforestation Series
Presentation - 3
Story - 2
Quality - 2
Funny stuff aside from the rape scene in part 3, great presentation and very concise. Solid VA

Fnrrf's Movie Contest Entry
Presentation - 3
Story - 1
Quality - 2
Battle scenes were cool, VA and sound effects well done, but this was held back by the plot. Just didn't grab me.

Monster Lot
Presentation - 1
Story - 1
Quality - 2
I'm sorry cause this entry clearly had the greatest effort put in, I just couldn't get through it. It needed more editing and I couldn't connect with anything.

Triangle (I didn't actually do anything in this but a walkabout)
Presentation - 3
Story - 2
Quality - 3
Pretty great, if brutal

Habla no Ingles
Presentation - 3
Story - 2
Quality - 3
Classic Giz doing what he does best. Surprisingly great graphics in some scenes too!

Ranking:
1. HNI
2. Triangle
3. Deforestation
4. Fnrrf
5. Monster Lot
My website, the home of Motrya:
http://www.jshgaming.com
Retired Smash Champion
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 PostTue Jun 21, 2011 6:28 am
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If my voting points should not be decimals please tell me- I figured it would be okay since the results are going to end up having them. If it's a problem I'll fix it up right quick, because I work on an odd averaging system (read: a 1.5 might actually be a 1 on speculation, not rounded up to 2).

---

-Deforestation - Spoonweaver
Presentation - 2.3
Story - 1
Quality - 2.3
Simple, to the point, and while that may actually be -too- simple for any storyline, the amount of pure waiting, silence, and patience between lines creates a good atmosphere.

-Deforestation 2 - Spoonweaver
Presentation - 1.5
Story - 1
Quality - 1.9
Easily the weakest in the Deforestation trilogy, but such is the weakness of trilogies.

-Deforestation 3 - Spoonweaver
Presentation - 2.2
Story - 2
Quality - 2
Easily the best of the Deforestation trilogy, but would you believe that I'm a little disappointed that the planet didn't blow up again? Human brains respond to patterns. Sad

To Spoonweaver, personally: You have a great sense of timing, pacing, and atmosphere. You need more audio editing in general so I don't hear the sound of a mic turning on at the beginning of a lot of your audio clips.

-Fnrrf's Movie Contest Entry - Fnrrf
Presentation - 3
Story - 2
Quality - 1.7
I was expecting someone in this entire contest to do a walkabout/slice combat scene, and you delivered, and it was well done! Presentation is a 3 based on that alone, as well as the usage of full-screen effects. Music selection killed the overall quality for me because of how much it ate the voice acting.

whyyyyyyyyyyyy did you leave me at a "to be continued" (I know why (just salty about it))

-Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone - JSH
-Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets - JSH
-Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban - JSH
Same score for all of these
Presentation - 1.3
Story - 1.5
Quality - 1.5

Had to dock points because brains, patterns, blah blah blah should've done all seven. Wasn't familiar with Harry Potter going into it, and now I feel like a pro! Learned to hate that synth voice, which was maybe the point so meta (you got a lot of this stuff on novelty, tbh)

-Monster Lot - RMZ and Surlaw
Presentation - 2.35
Story - 1
Quality - 1

Guys. Fellas. Too much dialog. Way too much. You can keep in all the scenes you want (though really, identifying which ones to cut in a post above in this thread is on the money (along with cutting characters), but I'm making a more important point right now) but brevity would have helped tremendously.

(also cut loretta entirely, I skipped literally every textbox of hers after her 5th and did not miss a thing plot-wise and her character is not interesting in the least (you can cut others too but she is the worst))

-Triangle - SDHawk and JSH
Presentation - 3
Story - 3
Quality - 3

Should be the absolute runaway hit. Here's the deal about movies, folks: they have their own pacing. Being able to control that pacing is how you control the audience, and Triangle did that shit in spades. Did you notice how, after a certain part of the movie, NOBODY SAID ANYTHING and it's all controlled except for one dramatic part where I can't tell if I just waited long enough or because I had to press enter...I should double check that, but Triangle is pretty much the master of setting up actual tension in this entire contest and deserves to win on that alone.

-Habla no Ingles: The Movie - Giz
Presentation - 2.35
Story - 1.8
Quality - 2

The -other- game to not have voice acting, sadly you were shown up, giz. The highest production values any HnI game has ever had- as I commented on livestream: "like going from commodore 64 to game gear." That's like a compliment. So is me telling you to "use that headless dude as an avatar" because that was a pro gif. As was the animation of the fridge flying off, too. Also your refrigerator is running.

???
-Metal Gear Duck - JSH
Presentation - 1
Story - 1.1
Quality - 1
ONE THING LEADS TO ANOTHER
Metal Slime
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 PostTue Jun 21, 2011 7:11 am
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note: after some counsel, i took the presentation and story score to be scores based on the aptitude of the craft, and the overall to be based on my personal enjoyment.

Deforestation Series
pres - ***
story - *
enjoyment - ***
fun

Fnrrf's Movie Contest Entry
pres - ***
story - **
enjoyment - ***
liked the graphics

Harry Potter Series
pres - *
story - *
enjoyment - *
nope

Monster Lot
i liked eugene
see Hachi's comments
more sitcom than movie

Triangle
pres - ***
story - ***
enjoyment - ***
hilarious

Habla no Ingles: The Movie
pres - ***
story - **
enjoyment - ***
its best feature was also its worse

Metal Gear Duck
pres - *
story - *
enjoyment - **
Games have changed.
Liquid Metal Slime
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 PostTue Jun 21, 2011 2:53 pm
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Deforestation - Spoonweaver
P - 2
S - 1
Q - 2

I didn't get a chance to watch the last two of these, but the first one was pretty decent. I had a decent time watching it.

Fnrrf's Movie Contest Entry - Fnrrf
P - 3
S - 2
Q - 3

I had a lot of fun with this. It was very well animated and very well done, it was an actual movie with tons of great action. Some of the fight scenes were some of the best cutscene stuff I've seen on the OHR. The story was a bit cliche, but it didn't subtract from how great the rest of the movie was.

All of the Harry Potter's - JSH
P - 1
S - 1
Q - 1

I didn't like any of the Harry Potter's and I didn't entirely get the joke I guess. It just wasn't funny or entertaining to me.


-Triangle - SD Hawk and JSH
P - 2
S - 1
Q - 1

I went into this under the assumption it was offensive to me. And it felt like somebody was trying to take something I did when I was 13 and try to make me feel ashamed of it today. The fact that Hawk kind of admitted he was upset at how many places Mr. Triangle appeared on ohr stuff to being the seemingly driving reason for this entry. The thing is, I love the design and personality of the guy, and yeah, I'm embarassed of his past, but at the same time I can look at it and see how far he's come. Which is why I really wish Hawk ended the entry the way he said he was planning on, with the pink triangle learning his lesson and painting himself red to symbolize the fact that the character grew up. I did enjoy the style of the movie.


Habla non Ingles - Giz
P - 2
S - 1
Q - 1

I thought some of the sprites were drawn pretty decent. But the scripting wasn't anything spectacular and I'm not a fan of the humor.
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 PostThu Jun 23, 2011 1:52 pm
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Deforestation: 3/5
Well done; well presented. The best part about the series, though, was the hype.


Fnrrf's Entry: 5/5
Thoroughly enjoyed it. Made better by the obvious Redwall references.


Harry Potter: 2/5
Having no real knowledge of HP before watching these, I found them little more than synopsis's. Sorry... I just didn't really find them entertaining.


Triangle: 5/5
The theme of the movie was rather offensive, true. But nonetheless, it is a work of art. Yeah, I don't care. Some of my fav artists are the ones who tried to shock through offensive material. Excellently paced, excellently written, excellently done.


I'll review Monster Lot when I see it. For some reason, It's taking 4EVA to download... :P
Liquid Metal Slime
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 PostThu Jun 23, 2011 1:54 pm
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I am amazed so few OHRers have read Harry Potter. Dumb contest entries aside, you really ought to. It's a great series.
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http://www.jshgaming.com
 
 PostThu Jun 23, 2011 2:03 pm
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I'll get to it eventually. I'm still waiting for the 14th Wheel of Time book still.
Liquid Metal Slime
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 PostThu Jun 23, 2011 2:57 pm
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Thanks for voting and all, but you kinda did it in the wrong format. See the last two pages of the contest voting thread to see how other people have done it. The rules and such are on page 1 of it.
Check out Red Triangle Games!
Liquid Metal King Slime
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 PostThu Jun 23, 2011 3:24 pm
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I plan on voting, I just have a couple more entries to watch. I have until Saturday, right?
Liquid Metal Slime
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 PostThu Jun 23, 2011 3:33 pm
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Saturday is when we'd like to tally up all the votes so we have plenty of time to draft it up for Hamster Speak. I'm sure if there are people willing to vote that need the extra time we could extend it to end of day Sunday to give people the weekend. We're digging the votes now, but like any contest, the more votes the better!

Thanks for taking the time to watch and vote.
Check out Red Triangle Games!
Metal Slime
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 PostThu Jun 23, 2011 11:56 pm
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I was going to wait until the absolute last minute to vote (because I really don't like the whole "public voting" thing; really prefer PM/email voting, or even a poll like the fangame contest), but eh, I finally got around to the last couple of entries I hadn't played so I might as well go ahead and vote.

These should be in the order that I played them... I think. If I remember right. Also, I've taken the "overall quality/enjoyment" score as a "how much did I enjoy watching this?" score more than actually being "overall quality," because having an "overall" as one of three scores just seems odd to me... "overall quality" should be the average of the three, right??

=========================

Deforestation
Presentation: 2
Story: 1
Enjoyment: 1

There's... really not much here. The response to "would you cut trees if they screamed?" was sorta funny, but I'm not a fan of the random Earth-explodes-everyone-dies ending. Animations and sound were pretty well done, though.

Triangle
Presentation: 3
Story: 2
Enjoyment: 1

Honestly can't say I enjoyed watching it, but it's well made and a bit more of a story to it than most entries. Kind of a "some of the most extreme homophobes tend to be repressed homosexuals themselves" message in there, like how some of the most strongly anti-gay politicians get caught tapping their feet in bathroom stalls or hiring male prostitutes. The "hey look everybody, Mr. Triangle started out as a gay-bashing character!" thing was unnecessary, though; kinda like making a game just for the purpose of telling the world that grass is green. I mean, the original Mr. Triangle games were still available for download on this very site the last time I checked, so it's not like RMZ's covering up Mr. Triangle's gay-hating history or anything. That said, the 1 in enjoyment isn't an "absolutely hated it" 1/3, more of a "would be a 2 on a 5-point scale" 1/3. I guess that's the problem with the 3-point scale, doesn't leave much room for in-between votes at all. Still better than a 10-point scale's vagueness, though, so I guess it's at least a step in the right direction for contest voting systems?

All three Harry Potter movies
Presentation: 1
Story: 2
Enjoyment: 3

I actually found these pretty funny, which apparently puts me in the minority here. Of course, I do tend to have unpopular opinions on JSH's games (I never liked Thanksgiving Quest at all, though others were worshipping it as some kind of pinnacle of battle design, and even giving it a second chance years later didn't change my opinion much), so I guess it's not much of a surprise that I liked these silly Harry Potter games more than Metal Gear Duck. Yeah, they're kind of half-assed compared to most of the other entires (thus the 1 in presentation), and yeah, it'd be better if JSH finished the entire series, but even as-is they were at least good for a few laughs at the ridiculous slow computer voices and the backdrops (and intentionally-badly-translated text) that came along with them. I'd feel weird about voting them this high if it wasn't for the fact that everyone else is giving them 1's, though--I'd probably drop story to a 1 or something if they actually had a reasonable chance of winning, because I don't really want to see more joke-game multi-packs winning contests after that one time in the RGC.

Deforestation 2
Presentation: 2
Story: 1
Enjoyment: 2

More stuff in the sequel than the first one, and it seemed a little longer (though that may be due to "more stuff actually happens" rather than actual length, the first one had a lot of waiting where nothing much went on.) Again, I'm not a fan of the random planet-explodes endings, and I'm really glad the third entry didn't end the same way (or worse.)

Deforestation 3: The Reckoning
Presentation: 3
Story: 1
Enjoyment: 1

Just like the first two, the animations and scripting are good; even better than the first two this time around, actually. Story is still basically nonexistant, but then again it seems to be spoofing horror movies, most of which are basically just an excuse to show a lot of gory shit, so... that's kind of expected. On a 5-point scale it may have gotten a 2 in story just for that, since there is at least more to it than the first two. Of course, I really don't like the gory shit at all, and since that makes up the majority of the movie... no enjoyment points here. Sorry. This is actually the reason why I asked Spoonweaver to use Fat Ash in the game rather than anyone else from my games--I suspected from the very beginning (when he was asking around in IRC what color Bob Surlaw's blood was) that this kind of thing would happen, and Ash's the only one of my games' main characters that could ever in a million years fall into a "typical helpless horror movie victim" role. The Bob the Hamster guitar solo ending almost made up for it. Almost. Once again, like I said in the D2 comments, I have to thank Spoonweaver for not rehashing the same "earth randomly explodes" ending that the first two had.

Habla no Ingles: The Movie
Presentation: 3
Story: 1
Enjoyment: 3

Probably the funniest entry, all things considered. Despite my hatred for gory shit, the decapitation scene didn't bother me at all; maybe because it was more along the lines of "super unrealistic cheesy pool of fake blood" style rather than the "lots of gore and screaming" horror-movie type stuff that Deforestation 3 had. The fridge running, crossing something resembling the bridge from Punch-Out's biking/jogging scenes, and then flying off into the distance with rocket boosters out of nowhere, was probably the funniest part of the whole thing, though little things here and there made me snicker a bit all the way through. "Leaky cardboard box full of semen" was a bit of a gross image to put in somebody's head, but still, I'd rather have nasty sexual jokes than blood and gore any day. And pay attention, kids--THAT is the way you do title screens that have nothing to do with the game's actual content. When Barnabus did it, I was just disappointed that the game wasn't really about Hamburglar.

Monster Lot
Presentation: 3
Story: 2
Enjoyment: 2

I actually went into this game expecting it to be pretty bad, based on what I had heard about it from other people ahead of time. Fortunately, it wasn't nearly as bad as others have said, though it certainly wasn't perfect. The graphics, sound, and animations were all done really well, and I snickered a little at a few lines here and there, but it could've been a lot funnier overall. A game with voiced text boxes should not have boxes so large they cover half the screen, for one thing, and it was kind of odd how some characters would go on talking for quite a while with nobody else butting in. A couple of the voices were kinda obnoxious at points, though this was probably intentional (overall, the voices were very well done, and I never got the characters' voices mixed up with each other despite all of them being voiced by the same people--that's a very good thing.) I wish my voices had turned out that well--when I tried to do a bunch of different voices, they all pretty much sounded like "me doing different voices" rather than actual different voices (which is why so many of my movie's voices relied on online text-to-voice programs.) I didn't find the story hard to follow at all, though it would probably be better if it focused more on the "Fred the new salesman" story throughout the whole movie rather than shifting over to the lawyers and people getting killed on the job bits every now and then (though the on-screen deaths were cartoony rather than gory in this case, the whole "people dying as comedy" thing is still something I'm not a big fan of.) I guess the split story thing might have been done on purpose, though--there's the main plot and then the mediocre side-plot going on in the background, kinda like a lot of sitcoms and other longer-running shows. Oh, and one last note: a few cheesy puns here and there don't hurt, but the flood of them toward the beginning was just excessive, and almost dropped the enjoyment score down to 1 (and would have, if they had stayed at the same frequency after everyone was introduced rather than cutting back a bit. Seriously, two or three cheesy puns PER TEXTBOX?? Were you trying to see if it was possible to give someone pun-poisoning?)
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