please proofread my text II

Hello,
after a while, here is another part of the story I'm trying to write, I'd like to ask for your help on grammar, spelling and wording. =)

Thanks a lot in advance!

Text:
“Once upon a time in one of the villages, after the First of the First Sand Mages had defeated the Sand Ghosts in the desert and founded the Flying City, there lived a family who had a useless but kind hearted child called the Useless Jonathan.
Truth to be told this Useless Jonathan was not always useless, he was helpful and kind to everyone in the village, he showed respect to the elderly and helped the younger children. He had all the traits a good person should have, but he couldn't use any magic. He couldn't control wind, nor could he summon water or move the ground. He couldn't walk in the shadows nor cast an illusion or light up the night with a magic spell. Magic fire did not follow his orders and plants would not grow at his will. That is why he was called the useless Jonathan by the people in his village. But he never complained about his fate, even as his parent's hearts grew hard with grief, he kept smiling.
One day the tests were held, every child in his village did show off their magic skill to the First Sand Mage's Appointee. Jonathan knew that most of the children were going to leave the village to go the villages there they belonged. The Appointee asked him “Jonathan, as you have no magic skill, tell me where do you belong to?” Jonathan smiled and said: “I belong in this village to support my little bother so he can become a skilful Sand Mage soon.” The Appointee accepted that and said he'd come back another year.

I think this reads a little better.

shorter sentences, a few grammatical changes.

Once upon a time, after the first of the First Sand Mages had defeated the Sand Ghosts in the desert and founded the Flying City. There lived a family who had a useless but kindhearted child named ‘The Useless’ Jonathan.

Truth to be told Useless Jonathan was not always useless. He was helpful and kind to everyone in the village; he showed respect to the elderly and even helped the younger children. He had all the traits a good person should have - but he couldn't use any magic. He couldn't control wind, summon water nor move the ground. He couldn't walk in the shadows, cast an illusion or even light up the night with a magic spell. For Jonathan Magic fire did not follow his orders and plants would not grow at his will. This is why the people called him ‘The Useless’ Jonathan. Alas, he never complained about his fate, even as his parent's hearts grew hard with grief, he kept smiling.

One day the tests were held and every child in his village showed off their magic skills to the First Sand Mage's Appointee. Jonathan knew that most of the children were going to leave the village and go onto the villages there they belonged. The Appointee asked him, “Jonathan, as you have no magic skills, tell me where do you belong to?”

Jonathan smiled and said, “I belong in this village to support my little bother so he can become a skillful Sand Mage soon.” The Appointee accepted that and told him he’d come back another year.

hope that helps.

Thanks for your help!

I have to respectfully disagree with a couple of the changes:

First period should be a comma, as it used to be. Otherwise the first sentence is incomplete.

The following sentence originally used the verb "called". In changing this to "named", the new sentence implies that "Useless Jonathan" was the character's actual name. And yet later in the excerpt, the name is explained as though it were a nickname. This makes me believe that "called" was the correct verb to use.

The list of what he couldn't do should probably read:
"He couldn't control wind, summon water, or move the ground."
but as this is simply a list to emphasize what he canNOT do, which is continued more conversationally in the following sentence, I'd probably remove the third clause altogether:
"He could neither control wind nor summon water."
or
"He could control neither wind nor water."
I think you need an English major for this bit of prose though. The phrase "with a magic spell" is also a bit problematic. I'd replace "magic" with "simple", or otherwise change the final failure in the list to be more obviously 'simpler' than the rest.

"For Jonathan Magic did not" needs a comma, "For Jonathan, Magic did not follow..." In fact, the original wording might be better.

The final sentence of this paragraph needs more work as well. It needs to be two sentences, first of all. I'm also not sure "Alas" is the best transition. Perhaps:
"And yet he never complained about his fate. Even as his parents' hearts grew hard with grief, Jonathan kept smiling."
Notice the change in apostrophe for parents'. If you split into two sentences in the way I have, I think it's helpful to have Jonathan's name in the second sentence. Especially if you revert to the original wording of the previous sentence, as I suggest.

That's all I've got time for right now.

---

I am Srime

I'd go with that...clearly know what they're talking about.

Thanks for you help, both of you!
I'll try to improve this text part before posting the next one.