View topic - OHRSpot User Hall of Fame Nominations

FRIENDS!
I come to you today with a promise! A promise that a vote for me in this here Hall Of Fame Election is also a vote for you! In troubled times such as ours, it is imperative that one hand look after the other! And I vow today, on a sticky stack of Bibles that if you throw your hand in with me, I'll throw my hand in with you! It's the only American way!

My dear Electorate, I know you're wondering: Can one man truly help so many? And I answer you, my dear, sweet Electorate, that when you join my close personal circle I will never be alone in lending you a hand. My neighbors are your neighbors and your neighbors are my neighbors and when we stick together there is no limit to what we can accomplish. I thank the almighty every night for granting me this most wonderful constituency.

Now, our mighty circle of friends is a wonderful thing but it takes more than that to run a country! I know you're wondering where I stand on the hot button issues of today! Make no mistake about it, I am the candidate of morality! If I am elected to office I will make it my single-minded mission to eliminate gratuitous gun violence from RPGs! In the hands of an engineer or cowboy a gun can be a fine tool for the advancement of American ideals, but in the hands of reckless youths, Communist Triangles and Adolf Hitler they are an abomination on the values that we hold dear! Those fine "Heroes" can wield swords, or bows and arrows, the way our ancestors intended!

And if I am I elected, I can promise you'll have seen the end of poorly ripped graphics! Every Minecraft snapshot, every Final Fantasy enemy and every DragonBall Z cel will be given a 256 color master palette to guarantee 100% accuracy of all its constituent colors.

EDIT: Better take this paragraph out so I don't get banned.

I know that is a lot to promise! I know that I will be limited by the powers of Congress until such time as I can marshall power to disband it! But I can give you my solemn oath as a Gentlemen: Slimes, Citizens. If you vote for me, I can promise never to turn up empty handed.

Thank you, and God Bless America.

Sen. John "Gomie" Handcock,
Circlejerk Party of America

Foreigners welcome

No fat chicks