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Making this an ordered ranking makes voting really hard since I'd lump most of them together at the same rank, so I fell back on theme to distinguish. Not a big fan of this year's batch in general, everything feels phoned in.
1)Charbile - My Little Gahn
Full-blown no regrets Charbile selling out in almost every way possible to the OHR community. Ridiculous. Ironically worse at the Gahn theme than the game that inspired the theme, but such is the nature of the business.
2)Spoonweaver - Clam digger
An accurate simulation that everyone can relate to.
3)SDHawk - Pilgrimage
I don't really know where to put this thing. I sort of regret not going with a full blown text adventure at the end as originally intended.
4)NathanKarr - Karrible.RPG
Not only is the don't be racist theme incredibly played out to begin with, but this presents it in such a muddled fashion that it's largely incoherent.
The gameplay gimmick has been done several other times in OHR history, and honestly way better than this game does it. Buy the best armor, spend a few minutes holding down spacebar on the first boss, stomp the rest of the bosses in mere moments.
I don't think this type of gimmick works very well in RPGs to begin with since RPGs are more about tactical execution rather than physical execution, so it always results in extremely underwhelming bosses after you knock the first one out. The fact that this game even spells out the weaknesses makes it even less satisfying. You'd have to do something like Prinny 1 where the difficulty of a stage varies depending on how many other stages you've already beaten to make this sort of thing satisfying beyond basic find-the-square-hole-for-your-square solving.
Getting a picture for beating each boss was pretty sweet though.
It's legit Bily, but not in an interesting new way.
5)Moogle1 - Memento Mori
It's probably just the OHR's blistering fast 18 FPS, but I find the controls in this intolerable, and it could use an instant reset button. Maybe it has one, but it's not like you listed the controls in a readme or anything.
6)RMsephy - Super Harem Builder 2012
The most disappointing harem sim on the market.
7)MasterK - Trolls!
I dare you to beat it 999 times. There have been so many of these types of joke games that they don't have any impact anymore, but as long as you had fun making it.
BEST IN SHOW?
Charbile's "My Little Gahn"
46% (6)
MasterK's "Trolls!"
0% (0)
Moogle1's "Memento Mori"
15% (2)
NathanKarr's "Karrible.RPG"
0% (0)
RMSephy's "Super Harem Builder 2012"
0% (0)
SDHawk's "Pilgrimage"
0% (0)
Spoonweaver's "Clam Digger"
15% (2)
Well actually, I think tha- *STAB* *THUMP*
23% (3)
Total Votes: 13
Thu May 03, 2012 1:59 am 
Mon May 07, 2012 2:11 am
Mon May 07, 2012 2:24 am
I've gotta go with Clam Digger all around, actually. Its a flawless emulation of a "joke" game. There's a subtle charm in the fact that someone out there made a game based on a throw-away line from ATHF, and got that Atari feel down pat. It's also awesome to see an ATHF game that's not all "LolzAquaTeen!"
And the glutton for punishment in me is delighted that the "thought it was empty but a Beetle was in it" bit was included.
—- So anyway, how are you?
And the glutton for punishment in me is delighted that the "thought it was empty but a Beetle was in it" bit was included.
—- So anyway, how are you?
Fri May 11, 2012 3:56 am
Stewie wrote:
I've gotta go with Clam Digger all around, actually. Its a flawless emulation of a "joke" game. There's a subtle charm in the fact that someone out there made a game based on a throw-away line from ATHF, and got that Atari feel down pat. It's also awesome to see an ATHF game that's not all "LolzAquaTeen!"
And the glutton for punishment in me is delighted that the "thought it was empty but a Beetle was in it" bit was included.
And the glutton for punishment in me is delighted that the "thought it was empty but a Beetle was in it" bit was included.
So... what about the OTHER games?
To friends long gone, and those I've yet to meet - thank you.
Fri May 11, 2012 12:58 pm
Never liked voting in contests I've entered something into, but such is the nature of game dev communities. Excuse me as I ramble up a storm~
I was looking forward to Super Harem the most, but I suppose it was a bit too ambitious. Has the potential to be my favorite ohr game of all time. I would love to see a complete, more serious take on it, but given the contest, it was very ridiculous. It was like, the harem part wasn't the game so much as having the girls fight.
On that, Memento Mori did feel complete and more serious. It's pretty neat, but I wouldn't call it ridiculous. I'd love to see Mogri give it more character and style, but tired of giving input. Would rather stay out of the way and let him do his thing.
Hawk's and Spoon's games were awesome concepts for the contest's theme. I don't mind losing to either one. On the upside, Clam Digger has style and Pilgrimage hits its mark of pretending to be someone's first game. On the downside, Digger isn't exactly fun after the intro and 5 seconds into the parking session, and Pilgrimage maybe hit its mark too well, would have liked to have seen more first-time game mocking, especially after going through all the 2011 games for that review contest.
Had a lot of fun making My Little Gahn. I didn't feel like spending a lot of time on it, so I basically ripped Fenrir's graphics by using the rules rpg to start with. My goal was to make something ridiculous, but make it a fun (and uplifting to jaded ohr devs) experience, rather than the joke revolve around it being not fun. And yeah, I totally sold out. Should have either went all-pony or pohrn.
I wasn't offended by any of the games, but Nathan dawg, if you have to ask, it probably means you were taking things too far :X Otherwise, Karrible was classic ohr gaming, would have rather seen the other characters' adventures in it. Trolls was awesome for what it was, but it wasn't much. Troll me harder!! XD
1 - billy adventure
2 - clam digger
3 - pilgrimage
4 - super harem
5 - karrible
6 - trolls
7 - memento mori
And I love the host making games for the rules and announcement. Fun fun fun. (edit: grammar O_o)
I was looking forward to Super Harem the most, but I suppose it was a bit too ambitious. Has the potential to be my favorite ohr game of all time. I would love to see a complete, more serious take on it, but given the contest, it was very ridiculous. It was like, the harem part wasn't the game so much as having the girls fight.
On that, Memento Mori did feel complete and more serious. It's pretty neat, but I wouldn't call it ridiculous. I'd love to see Mogri give it more character and style, but tired of giving input. Would rather stay out of the way and let him do his thing.
Hawk's and Spoon's games were awesome concepts for the contest's theme. I don't mind losing to either one. On the upside, Clam Digger has style and Pilgrimage hits its mark of pretending to be someone's first game. On the downside, Digger isn't exactly fun after the intro and 5 seconds into the parking session, and Pilgrimage maybe hit its mark too well, would have liked to have seen more first-time game mocking, especially after going through all the 2011 games for that review contest.
Had a lot of fun making My Little Gahn. I didn't feel like spending a lot of time on it, so I basically ripped Fenrir's graphics by using the rules rpg to start with. My goal was to make something ridiculous, but make it a fun (and uplifting to jaded ohr devs) experience, rather than the joke revolve around it being not fun. And yeah, I totally sold out. Should have either went all-pony or pohrn.
I wasn't offended by any of the games, but Nathan dawg, if you have to ask, it probably means you were taking things too far :X Otherwise, Karrible was classic ohr gaming, would have rather seen the other characters' adventures in it. Trolls was awesome for what it was, but it wasn't much. Troll me harder!! XD
1 - billy adventure
2 - clam digger
3 - pilgrimage
4 - super harem
5 - karrible
6 - trolls
7 - memento mori
And I love the host making games for the rules and announcement. Fun fun fun. (edit: grammar O_o)
Fri May 11, 2012 7:57 pm
Thematics -
#1. Trolls! - Billy loves it.
#2. Karrible.RPG - Billy's proud of you, too.
#3. Memento Mori - Dr. Mu can dig it.
#4. Clam digger - Dr. Mu and Billy are wrestlin' over who gets to claim this one.
#5. My Little Gahn - Gahn desires more chaos.
#6. Super Harem Builder 2012 - Slither tenatively approves.
#7. Pilgrimage - Dr. Mu thinks this is good for SDHawk's first time as an artist.
Quality -
#1. My Little Gahn
#2. Memento Mori
#3. Clam digger
#4. Pilgrimage
#5. Super Harem Builder 2012
#6. Karrible.RPG
#7. Trolls!
Hating on everyone -
Trolls! - This is the same shit everyone does. I sat through like, 15-20 battles hoping something would happen and it didn't. This is as funny as being the victim of trolling ever gets, a terrible black and white world where everyone is laughing but you. Most unapologetically terrible game in the contest, and that gets some points. Needs a gimmick!
Karrible.RPG - One thing that gripes me about this game is how Nathan claims it's ANTI-Racism. An Anti-Racism game would have the main character go around accusing the bosses of terrible stereotypes that they aren't partaking in and every character would be functionally identical. In this game our catholic furry friend knocks off a criminal black dude, a yellow menace that puts Fu Manchu to shame and a native American. But it's not racist, because he kills an intolerant white guy, too! By admitting that he can be a bit haughty towards his tv stealing, rice eating, pilgrim scalping neighbors, Nathan totally makes up for propagating stereotypes, blatantly pushing his pseudo-supremacist views and calling someone a Negromancer. I did like the little flashing light attacks the enemies used though, that was some old school Atari type shit right there.
Super Harem Builder 2012 - Super Harem Builder is kind of glitchy, and that's ridiculous! I like the basic set-up and there's a lot of possibilities for a project like this. I'm glad the harem aspect is a little bit downplayed, because the idea of harem girls getting killed by fire hydrants while wandering through the city is sleazy in a way I can't quite verbalize. The portraits remind me of Tecmo Super Bowl and I can't decide if I like that or not. Music is so, so chill. I've only made it to the second week, but it's cool so far.
Pilgrimage - Pretty accurate representation of a newbie game, which is cool because I never saw Hawk's early career. The end is shocking, but happens a little bit earlier than maybe it could. Hopefully he'll follow his own advice and finish this up a bit, could be a pretty cool RPG. Love the little bits of humor throughout, and it is kind of ridiculous. Also that second hero is hotttttttt
Clam Digger - Loved the music, the atmosphere, playing death race with the pedestrians and ESPECIALLY LOVED the fact that you can win. This is how you make a terrible game. Don't make it unwinnable make it SEEM unwinnable, and then when people complain about it mock them mercilessly. I mentioned it to Spoonweaver in IRC and I'll mention it again here, this legitimately feels like a game from some mythical era between the Atari and before the NES where games had simple, but stylish graphics and pretty good sound. Nicely done.
Memento Mori - I kept flip-flopping about whether or not this was better than Charbile's entry. Memento Mori is absolutely amazing and definitely stands up to professionally developed old school platformers, but at times is clearly limited by its OHR format. The controls can feel a little sloppy in the middle of all the action and sometimes is so twitchy it's unfair. I did manage to get all the flags available in the demo (That last purple flag was brutal.) and near the end I could see what SDHawk meant with his 18 FPS comment. The replay feature amazes the hell out of me, and it's a tremendous achievement, but it's not very ridiculous.
My Little Gahn - This wasn't the best game in the contest, but I think it demonstrated a number of ridiculous qualities that put it ahead of Memento Mori.Asides from the name, Derp Force is amazing and at no point feels constrained by Charbile's choice of RPG Creation Engine. Billy's Quest shows off a number of awesome effects and Gahn wandering around has two or three cool graphical things I'd love to steal. I don't think it really shifted gears enough to fit Gahn's theme of constantly changing rules, mostly you're just Gahn wandering from point A to B. If I were making a game these days, (and thank goodness I'm not) Charbile would be the guy I'd ask for help polishing it all up. Look at this game and see what kind of cool shit you can do in a month to take your game beyond the average OHR Game. Just try to have a game underneath it. I agree with Surlaw, though. You simply cannot pass up an opportunity for a Star Trek 2 joke. Someone give Charbile a lesson in titling.
#1. Trolls! - Billy loves it.
#2. Karrible.RPG - Billy's proud of you, too.
#3. Memento Mori - Dr. Mu can dig it.
#4. Clam digger - Dr. Mu and Billy are wrestlin' over who gets to claim this one.
#5. My Little Gahn - Gahn desires more chaos.
#6. Super Harem Builder 2012 - Slither tenatively approves.
#7. Pilgrimage - Dr. Mu thinks this is good for SDHawk's first time as an artist.
Quality -
#1. My Little Gahn
#2. Memento Mori
#3. Clam digger
#4. Pilgrimage
#5. Super Harem Builder 2012
#6. Karrible.RPG
#7. Trolls!
Hating on everyone -
Trolls! - This is the same shit everyone does. I sat through like, 15-20 battles hoping something would happen and it didn't. This is as funny as being the victim of trolling ever gets, a terrible black and white world where everyone is laughing but you. Most unapologetically terrible game in the contest, and that gets some points. Needs a gimmick!
Karrible.RPG - One thing that gripes me about this game is how Nathan claims it's ANTI-Racism. An Anti-Racism game would have the main character go around accusing the bosses of terrible stereotypes that they aren't partaking in and every character would be functionally identical. In this game our catholic furry friend knocks off a criminal black dude, a yellow menace that puts Fu Manchu to shame and a native American. But it's not racist, because he kills an intolerant white guy, too! By admitting that he can be a bit haughty towards his tv stealing, rice eating, pilgrim scalping neighbors, Nathan totally makes up for propagating stereotypes, blatantly pushing his pseudo-supremacist views and calling someone a Negromancer. I did like the little flashing light attacks the enemies used though, that was some old school Atari type shit right there.
Super Harem Builder 2012 - Super Harem Builder is kind of glitchy, and that's ridiculous! I like the basic set-up and there's a lot of possibilities for a project like this. I'm glad the harem aspect is a little bit downplayed, because the idea of harem girls getting killed by fire hydrants while wandering through the city is sleazy in a way I can't quite verbalize. The portraits remind me of Tecmo Super Bowl and I can't decide if I like that or not. Music is so, so chill. I've only made it to the second week, but it's cool so far.
Pilgrimage - Pretty accurate representation of a newbie game, which is cool because I never saw Hawk's early career. The end is shocking, but happens a little bit earlier than maybe it could. Hopefully he'll follow his own advice and finish this up a bit, could be a pretty cool RPG. Love the little bits of humor throughout, and it is kind of ridiculous. Also that second hero is hotttttttt
Clam Digger - Loved the music, the atmosphere, playing death race with the pedestrians and ESPECIALLY LOVED the fact that you can win. This is how you make a terrible game. Don't make it unwinnable make it SEEM unwinnable, and then when people complain about it mock them mercilessly. I mentioned it to Spoonweaver in IRC and I'll mention it again here, this legitimately feels like a game from some mythical era between the Atari and before the NES where games had simple, but stylish graphics and pretty good sound. Nicely done.
Memento Mori - I kept flip-flopping about whether or not this was better than Charbile's entry. Memento Mori is absolutely amazing and definitely stands up to professionally developed old school platformers, but at times is clearly limited by its OHR format. The controls can feel a little sloppy in the middle of all the action and sometimes is so twitchy it's unfair. I did manage to get all the flags available in the demo (That last purple flag was brutal.) and near the end I could see what SDHawk meant with his 18 FPS comment. The replay feature amazes the hell out of me, and it's a tremendous achievement, but it's not very ridiculous.
My Little Gahn - This wasn't the best game in the contest, but I think it demonstrated a number of ridiculous qualities that put it ahead of Memento Mori.Asides from the name, Derp Force is amazing and at no point feels constrained by Charbile's choice of RPG Creation Engine. Billy's Quest shows off a number of awesome effects and Gahn wandering around has two or three cool graphical things I'd love to steal. I don't think it really shifted gears enough to fit Gahn's theme of constantly changing rules, mostly you're just Gahn wandering from point A to B. If I were making a game these days, (and thank goodness I'm not) Charbile would be the guy I'd ask for help polishing it all up. Look at this game and see what kind of cool shit you can do in a month to take your game beyond the average OHR Game. Just try to have a game underneath it. I agree with Surlaw, though. You simply cannot pass up an opportunity for a Star Trek 2 joke. Someone give Charbile a lesson in titling.
Fri May 11, 2012 8:37 pm
Quote:
Needs a gimmick!
I already told you, I was not joking with the 999 battles!
Quote:
include, plotscr.hsd
include, Trolls.hsi
global variable(1,playing)
plotscript, intro, begin
suspend player
show text box(1)
wait for text box
playing := 0
do game
end
plotscript, do game, begin
while (playing << 999), do (
fight formation(1)
increment(playing,1)
)
do end
end
plotscript, do end, begin
show text box(5)
wait for text box
game over
end
include, Trolls.hsi
global variable(1,playing)
plotscript, intro, begin
suspend player
show text box(1)
wait for text box
playing := 0
do game
end
plotscript, do game, begin
while (playing << 999), do (
fight formation(1)
increment(playing,1)
)
do end
end
plotscript, do end, begin
show text box(5)
wait for text box
game over
end
This is the entire script for the game. No lie.
Thu May 17, 2012 7:37 pm
The three week mark nears. We need more votes!
C'mon, I don't know how much more I can take of Vlad's narcissistic bragging....
To friends long gone, and those I've yet to meet - thank you.
C'mon, I don't know how much more I can take of Vlad's narcissistic bragging....
To friends long gone, and those I've yet to meet - thank you.
Thu May 17, 2012 9:49 pm
I wonder why James hasn't voted yet. Or perhaps he's just waiting till the last possible second so as to not give away the ending.
It really all comes down to his vote.
It really all comes down to his vote.
Thu May 17, 2012 9:58 pm
I am a lean, mean, terrible procrastination machine!
I still haven't played 3 of the games. If I play them this weekend, I will vote this weekend. but I will be gone the week after that i and have no idea what (if any) computer time and internet access I might have. :)
I still haven't played 3 of the games. If I play them this weekend, I will vote this weekend. but I will be gone the week after that i and have no idea what (if any) computer time and internet access I might have. :)
Sun Jun 03, 2012 12:12 am
So did anybody ever win this thing?
—- So anyway, how are you?
—- So anyway, how are you?
Sun Jun 03, 2012 2:30 am
To friends long gone, and those I've yet to meet - thank you.
Sun Jun 03, 2012 5:14 am
Oh! I was supposed to vote!
In the interest of being TERRIBLE I will not bother to go back and re-read the instructions for how I am supposed to vote, I will just vote and hope I do it right by luck.
Charbile's "My Little Gahn"
I enjoyed this game. The sidescrolling shooter minigame really took me by surprise. I would give it the full five stars, except when I started playing I had just told my fiancee (now wife) "I'll be in bed in just a minute, love" thinking that Charbile was going to feed be 3 minutes of nonsense and then I could go to sleep. Instead, I got to watch/play an unexpectedly long game with no way to save my progress, yet it was riveting enough that I didn't want to quit and start over later. By the time I got to bed she was fast asleep, and it is all your fault Charbile, shame on you.
Four stars ****
I think this was a Game to Please All Villains
Moogle1's "Memento Mori"
This was a slick and nifty game. I absolutely love what Mogri did here. Unfortunately this style of game gives me the screaming heebie jeebies after a few dozed deaths in a row. When I was a teenager, I had enough patience to rack up 99 lives on stage 2 of battletoads and then blow them all away in a fruitless afternoon of slamming my hoverbike into rock slabs over and over again, but I am an old man now and I like games where it is impossible to die and everything is handed to you on a silver platter.
I am giving this four stars **** but I'll bump it up to five, Mogri, if somebody can use the -recordinput command line option on the latest nighlies to record a full playthrough and then send me the .ohrkey file so I can play it back and watch it and pretend I am awesome without having to do any of the actual work
This was a game to please Dr. Mu
MasterK's "Trolls!"
This game only had one battle. Over and over. I liked the look of it... but there wasn't anything else there. I am pretty sure that the battle loop is in a plotscript that is counting up, and if I held down the spacebar for six months, a global variable would count up high enough that the game would end and show me a cheesy cutscene, but I didn't have six months to spare.
Two stars ** but only because I am feeling generous, and that hidden cutscene looks so good in the eye of my imagination.
This was a game to please Billy
NathanKarr's "Karrible.RPG"
I downloaded this one along with the others. I had them all saved together in a folder named 2012 RGC. I unzipped them all, and I was going to play Karrible.rpg first, but I decided to play Memento Mori first, and then I got wrapped up in playing the othe rgames, and ended up saving Karrible for last. Just three days ago I noticed I hadn't played it yet, and I had a few minutes to spare, but when I went to look for it, it was gone. The rpg file was gone, and the zip file was gone. I swear I don't remember deleting them myself, but they are gone. I am not sure if my computer is trying to send me a message or what.
I decided to just give it two stars ** because that is what I gave to trolls, and I feel okay about it for now, and I think Nathan will probably forgive me. Now get back to work on Maces Wild! ;)
This was a game to please Billy. My flakey half-assed non-vote was a vote to please Cthulhu.
RMSephy's "Super Harem Builder 2012"
For a game about building a Harem, I was surprised there were no sex scenes. This game was in face not really crude at all in any way that I noticed. I am 70% pleased and 30% disappointed about that. I thought it was nicely scripted, and was actually pretty fun. it didn't seem to be finished. I would like to see it finished. I also really liked how the girl's faces seemed to be randomly generated by combining eyes and nose and mouth and hair. Clever!
I am giving this game four stars **** but RMSephy, please understand that you only earned that fourth star because I expect you to finish it. if you don't finish it, I will confiscate a star, and then Force You To Go Work At The Mall.
This was a game to please Dr. Mu
SDHawk's "Pilgrimage"
Hawk, I think the concept you used for developing this game was a really cool idea. The game itself captured the charm of a really good newbie game, the kind that lets you know the newbie is going on to great things. The ending was quite clever, and even felt a bit emotionally shocking to me. Good job. This game was not terrible.
However, you were up against some stiff competition, so I am giving you three and 1/2 stars ***+
This was a game that didn't please any of the Villains, but hey, they are Villains! Why are we obeying them? Maybe that means you actually secretly won ;)
Spoonweaver's "Clam Digger"
This game was super-stylish. There wasn't mush to it, but this was a very well-executed joke-game. I think if you e-mailed a copy of it to the writers of Aqua Teen Hunger Force, they would probably weep with joy.
I am giving this game four stars. **** Please tell Tyrone.
This is a game to please Cthulhu
Crazybus.rpg - hecho en venesuela
I don't know who made this game. it was in my 2012 RGC folder. The zip name was hechoenvenesuela.txt and the readme said nothing but "hecho en venesuela" and the filename was Crazybus.rpg. I think somebody must have posted a link to it in IRC, but I don't remember who. I guess I could dig through my logs, but I am not going to. I couldn't find it on the gamelist, so I uploaded a copy of it to http://hamsterrepublic.com/tmp/hechoenvenesuela.zip so other people can see what I am talking about. I am not even certaint why I thought at the time that this game was intended to be an entrant into this contest, it was almost as if a powerful hypnotic subconscious suggestion forced me to download it and save it without questioning my own actions.
I give it one star *
This is a game to please Cthulhu, and no I don't mean the cute Cthulhu from VoM, I mean the real one, who abideth in his house at R'lyeh, and when he wakes shall devour all who walk on the surface of the land, and his fury shall rule mercilessly over the shattered earth for all time. Three men were swept up by the flabby claws before anybody turned. God rest them, if there be any rest in the universe. They were Donovan, Guerrera, and Angstrom. Parker slipped as the other three were plunging frenziedly over endless vistas of green-crusted rock to the boat, and Johansen swears he was swallowed up by an angle of masonry which shouldn't have been there; an angle which was acute, but behaved as if it were obtuse. So only Briden and Johansen reached the boat, and pulled desperately for the Alert as the mountainous monstrosity flopped down the slimy stones and hesitated, floundering at the edge of the water.
Steam had not been suffered to go down entirely, despite the departure of all hands for the shore; and it was the work of only a few moments of feverish rushing up and down between wheel and engines to get the Alert under way. Slowly, amidst the distorted horrors of that indescribable scene, she began to churn the lethal waters; whilst on the masonry of that charnel shore that was not of earth the titan Thing from the stars slavered and gibbered like Polypheme cursing the fleeing ship of Odysseus. Then, bolder than the storied Cyclops, great Cthulhu slid greasily into the water and began to pursue with vast wave-raising strokes of cosmic potency. Briden looked back and went mad, laughing shrilly as he kept on laughing at intervals till death found him one night in the cabin whilst Johansen was wandering deliriously.
But Johansen had not given out yet. Knowing that the Thing could surely overtake the Alert until steam was fully up, he resolved on a desperate chance; and, setting the engine for full speed, ran lightning-like on deck and reversed the wheel. There was a mighty eddying and foaming in the noisome brine, and as the steam mounted higher and higher the brave Norwegian drove his vessel head on against the pursuing jelly which rose above the unclean froth like the stern of a daemon galleon. The awful squid-head with writhing feelers came nearly up to the bowsprit of the sturdy yacht, but Johansen drove on relentlessly. There was a bursting as of an exploding bladder, a slushy nastiness as of a cloven sunfish, a stench as of a thousand opened graves, and a sound that the chronicler could not put on paper. For an instant the ship was befouled by an acrid and blinding green cloud, and then there was only a venomous seething astern; where—God in heaven!—the scattered plasticity of that nameless sky-spawn was nebulously recombining in its hateful original form, whilst its distance widened every second as the Alert gained impetus from its mounting steam.
That was all. After that Johansen only brooded over the idol in the cabin and attended to a few matters of food for himself and the laughing maniac by his side. He did not try to navigate after the first bold flight, for the reaction had taken something out of his soul. Then came the storm of April 2nd, and a gathering of the clouds about his consciousness. There is a sense of spectral whirling through liquid gulfs of infinity, of dizzying rides through reeling universes on a comets tail, and of hysterical plunges from the pit to the moon and from the moon back again to the pit, all livened by a cachinnating chorus of the distorted, hilarious elder gods and the green, bat-winged mocking imps of Tartarus.
In the interest of being TERRIBLE I will not bother to go back and re-read the instructions for how I am supposed to vote, I will just vote and hope I do it right by luck.
Charbile's "My Little Gahn"
I enjoyed this game. The sidescrolling shooter minigame really took me by surprise. I would give it the full five stars, except when I started playing I had just told my fiancee (now wife) "I'll be in bed in just a minute, love" thinking that Charbile was going to feed be 3 minutes of nonsense and then I could go to sleep. Instead, I got to watch/play an unexpectedly long game with no way to save my progress, yet it was riveting enough that I didn't want to quit and start over later. By the time I got to bed she was fast asleep, and it is all your fault Charbile, shame on you.
Four stars ****
I think this was a Game to Please All Villains
Moogle1's "Memento Mori"
This was a slick and nifty game. I absolutely love what Mogri did here. Unfortunately this style of game gives me the screaming heebie jeebies after a few dozed deaths in a row. When I was a teenager, I had enough patience to rack up 99 lives on stage 2 of battletoads and then blow them all away in a fruitless afternoon of slamming my hoverbike into rock slabs over and over again, but I am an old man now and I like games where it is impossible to die and everything is handed to you on a silver platter.
I am giving this four stars **** but I'll bump it up to five, Mogri, if somebody can use the -recordinput command line option on the latest nighlies to record a full playthrough and then send me the .ohrkey file so I can play it back and watch it and pretend I am awesome without having to do any of the actual work
This was a game to please Dr. Mu
MasterK's "Trolls!"
This game only had one battle. Over and over. I liked the look of it... but there wasn't anything else there. I am pretty sure that the battle loop is in a plotscript that is counting up, and if I held down the spacebar for six months, a global variable would count up high enough that the game would end and show me a cheesy cutscene, but I didn't have six months to spare.
Two stars ** but only because I am feeling generous, and that hidden cutscene looks so good in the eye of my imagination.
This was a game to please Billy
NathanKarr's "Karrible.RPG"
I downloaded this one along with the others. I had them all saved together in a folder named 2012 RGC. I unzipped them all, and I was going to play Karrible.rpg first, but I decided to play Memento Mori first, and then I got wrapped up in playing the othe rgames, and ended up saving Karrible for last. Just three days ago I noticed I hadn't played it yet, and I had a few minutes to spare, but when I went to look for it, it was gone. The rpg file was gone, and the zip file was gone. I swear I don't remember deleting them myself, but they are gone. I am not sure if my computer is trying to send me a message or what.
I decided to just give it two stars ** because that is what I gave to trolls, and I feel okay about it for now, and I think Nathan will probably forgive me. Now get back to work on Maces Wild! ;)
This was a game to please Billy. My flakey half-assed non-vote was a vote to please Cthulhu.
RMSephy's "Super Harem Builder 2012"
For a game about building a Harem, I was surprised there were no sex scenes. This game was in face not really crude at all in any way that I noticed. I am 70% pleased and 30% disappointed about that. I thought it was nicely scripted, and was actually pretty fun. it didn't seem to be finished. I would like to see it finished. I also really liked how the girl's faces seemed to be randomly generated by combining eyes and nose and mouth and hair. Clever!
I am giving this game four stars **** but RMSephy, please understand that you only earned that fourth star because I expect you to finish it. if you don't finish it, I will confiscate a star, and then Force You To Go Work At The Mall.
This was a game to please Dr. Mu
SDHawk's "Pilgrimage"
Hawk, I think the concept you used for developing this game was a really cool idea. The game itself captured the charm of a really good newbie game, the kind that lets you know the newbie is going on to great things. The ending was quite clever, and even felt a bit emotionally shocking to me. Good job. This game was not terrible.
However, you were up against some stiff competition, so I am giving you three and 1/2 stars ***+
This was a game that didn't please any of the Villains, but hey, they are Villains! Why are we obeying them? Maybe that means you actually secretly won ;)
Spoonweaver's "Clam Digger"
This game was super-stylish. There wasn't mush to it, but this was a very well-executed joke-game. I think if you e-mailed a copy of it to the writers of Aqua Teen Hunger Force, they would probably weep with joy.
I am giving this game four stars. **** Please tell Tyrone.
This is a game to please Cthulhu
Crazybus.rpg - hecho en venesuela
I don't know who made this game. it was in my 2012 RGC folder. The zip name was hechoenvenesuela.txt and the readme said nothing but "hecho en venesuela" and the filename was Crazybus.rpg. I think somebody must have posted a link to it in IRC, but I don't remember who. I guess I could dig through my logs, but I am not going to. I couldn't find it on the gamelist, so I uploaded a copy of it to http://hamsterrepublic.com/tmp/hechoenvenesuela.zip so other people can see what I am talking about. I am not even certaint why I thought at the time that this game was intended to be an entrant into this contest, it was almost as if a powerful hypnotic subconscious suggestion forced me to download it and save it without questioning my own actions.
I give it one star *
This is a game to please Cthulhu, and no I don't mean the cute Cthulhu from VoM, I mean the real one, who abideth in his house at R'lyeh, and when he wakes shall devour all who walk on the surface of the land, and his fury shall rule mercilessly over the shattered earth for all time. Three men were swept up by the flabby claws before anybody turned. God rest them, if there be any rest in the universe. They were Donovan, Guerrera, and Angstrom. Parker slipped as the other three were plunging frenziedly over endless vistas of green-crusted rock to the boat, and Johansen swears he was swallowed up by an angle of masonry which shouldn't have been there; an angle which was acute, but behaved as if it were obtuse. So only Briden and Johansen reached the boat, and pulled desperately for the Alert as the mountainous monstrosity flopped down the slimy stones and hesitated, floundering at the edge of the water.
Steam had not been suffered to go down entirely, despite the departure of all hands for the shore; and it was the work of only a few moments of feverish rushing up and down between wheel and engines to get the Alert under way. Slowly, amidst the distorted horrors of that indescribable scene, she began to churn the lethal waters; whilst on the masonry of that charnel shore that was not of earth the titan Thing from the stars slavered and gibbered like Polypheme cursing the fleeing ship of Odysseus. Then, bolder than the storied Cyclops, great Cthulhu slid greasily into the water and began to pursue with vast wave-raising strokes of cosmic potency. Briden looked back and went mad, laughing shrilly as he kept on laughing at intervals till death found him one night in the cabin whilst Johansen was wandering deliriously.
But Johansen had not given out yet. Knowing that the Thing could surely overtake the Alert until steam was fully up, he resolved on a desperate chance; and, setting the engine for full speed, ran lightning-like on deck and reversed the wheel. There was a mighty eddying and foaming in the noisome brine, and as the steam mounted higher and higher the brave Norwegian drove his vessel head on against the pursuing jelly which rose above the unclean froth like the stern of a daemon galleon. The awful squid-head with writhing feelers came nearly up to the bowsprit of the sturdy yacht, but Johansen drove on relentlessly. There was a bursting as of an exploding bladder, a slushy nastiness as of a cloven sunfish, a stench as of a thousand opened graves, and a sound that the chronicler could not put on paper. For an instant the ship was befouled by an acrid and blinding green cloud, and then there was only a venomous seething astern; where—God in heaven!—the scattered plasticity of that nameless sky-spawn was nebulously recombining in its hateful original form, whilst its distance widened every second as the Alert gained impetus from its mounting steam.
That was all. After that Johansen only brooded over the idol in the cabin and attended to a few matters of food for himself and the laughing maniac by his side. He did not try to navigate after the first bold flight, for the reaction had taken something out of his soul. Then came the storm of April 2nd, and a gathering of the clouds about his consciousness. There is a sense of spectral whirling through liquid gulfs of infinity, of dizzying rides through reeling universes on a comets tail, and of hysterical plunges from the pit to the moon and from the moon back again to the pit, all livened by a cachinnating chorus of the distorted, hilarious elder gods and the green, bat-winged mocking imps of Tartarus.
Mon Jun 04, 2012 11:43 pm
When does the voting period end?
Mon Jun 25, 2012 3:22 am
Hey guys I need mator homes. Thnx