Mazes of Persistence

[ChaosNyte]

Intro:
Designed for a Terrible Game Contest, Mazes of Persistence puts you in the role of encouraging a verbally abusive bunny out of the cave he’s trapped in.

Storyline:
It would seem a fairly simple task to get Milton out of a cave, but since the little bastard keeps up a string up complaints that cause a text box to pop up every few steps, the game grinds to a psychotic halt. In Uncommon’s favor, many of Milton’s complaints are funny and well worth reading the first time around as he talks slime about you, himself, and the cave. Eventually though, it’s easy enough to just keep the spacebar held down and ignore Milton’s litany of complaints. New text for every level, or even the occasion multi-textbox rant would have been a welcome addition to up the level of pain.

Graphics:
I had a headache after I was done. Milton is a blinking white bunny head. In itself, not so awful, but everything of importance also blinks, and together with the nauseating level color schemes you’ll soon feel that terrible burning sensation behind your eyeballs. Worst yet, the maptiles are simple enough and the map design complex enough that looking away from the screen can completely throw off your sense of direction, resulting in accidental backtracking.

Gameplay:
Each level of Mazes adds a new challenge. Keys, fake doors, warp portals, even special switches that rotate the map. Along with this, the levels get progressively bigger, forcing you to wind your way through endless hallways as you listen to Milton bitch. After an hour or so, it becomes exhausting, as your hope dwindles along with Milton’s.

Music:
N/A, thankfully.

Conclusion:
While not the perfect awful game, Uncommon has captured a mix of old school stupidity in the graphics and level design that when combined with Milton’s incessant whining, make for a game that you’ll never want to play.